Pepsiblog

So What About The Future?

2011-11-06T03:26:00.000-08:00

Everyday I always tell myself that I’m destined for something great. That I’ve been given so much that I just have to make something of myself. With every success story I hear of other’s unexpected success in whatever they are doing, or love to do, I tend to wonder about my own big break. Will it ever come, when will it come, what must be done to make it work? What would I make it big doing? Too many questions to answer with no real leads to a plausible answer.

When I last read Steve Jobs speech in 2005 for the Stanford graduates, it struck me a lot when he said that you can never connect the dots going forward, but it will be so clear looking back. I can clearly see right now how every tragedy in my past has shaped me to be where I am now and who I am now. What I struggle to see is where I am going from here.

Its no secret that I’ve been in a crossroads the whole year since my deviations from the path I was on. As much as I know it’s a passing phase, I cant help but feel demotivated and deflated a lot. Am I in the right job? The right company? With the right people? have I ruined my career? Have I lost my chance to claim my destiny? Thoughts that I dare not answer.

It sometimes confuses me how for some reason, even if I am so obsessed with being someone, I tend not to be motivated enough still, to really give it everything I’ve got. It means everything to me, but it still doesn’t push me enough to go through extreme lengths to get it done. Perhaps my belief of money and success being worldly pleasures and irrelevant to a man’s survival, seems to contradict that which I strive for. I already know and believe that everything there is to be accomplished in this world is born from a state of mind where we’ve become dependent on worldy affirmation and approval, yet another side of me still strives to claim that success just to prove a point. Regardless of the winning point of view, I’m still left baffled and stagnant.

pepe cervero

Parts of A Past Life

2011-11-05T21:01:00.000-07:00

Never a good thing to be immobilized by an annoying fever… especially if it’s a long weekend where I could be doing one of a million different things. I got thinking about all the things I’m not doing anymore and made a list:

Playing football
Playing the guitar
Playing in the band
Writing songs
Writing poems
Writing on my blog
Breakdancing? Well that was a hell of a long time ago and no one would believe it.haha
Badminton
Billiards
Playing basketball
Going to the gym
I don’t go shopping anymore… mostly cuz I only buy my own brand now.

I think that’s a long enough list for me to feel bad. Should really try to get some of that tuff back on my daily schedule.

I’m sure I can squeeze in at least half of these into my current routine. But I’m hoping that blogging will be one of the sure bets. But football will have to be a sure hit too since UFL is now a proper pro league. Would definitely wanna be a pro footballer.haha Never thought that could happen in this country but doors seem to have opened. Now I just need my knees repaired.

Barely Surviving

2011-10-15T18:20:00.000-07:00

I’ve had a lot of time to think about a lot of things these past few days. Sometimes I wonder if thinking about things is really the best thing for me to do. Often when do so, I tend to think things forward a lot and anticipate several scenarios that may or may not come true, an I respond to these scenarios before they have a chance to occur. Whether or not I saw things correctly and responded the right way, I could never really know. One thing’s for sure, what I have not mastered, is that art of deciding and forgetting. Could never take action without wondering if I’ve done the right thing or if things could’ve been better otherwise.

This has definitely not been a good year for me. 3 car accidents, countless job applications declined, a stagnating career, losing in the stock market, lost a football team, lost a best friend and broke my heart twice already. A true test of character this is. I sometimes wonder if my recent decision will lead to my long term emotional well being.

I really like Maita… on some days maybe much much more. We get along in ways apart from what I’ve been used to with Mich. She makes me feel alive, young and light. She always seems to know when im bothered, troubled, in deep thought or sad and always seems to tug on the right notes to make things better. I could really see myself spending a lot of time with her, and having a more than fruitful relationship for a long time. But for whatever reason, it doesn’t feel as though she is, The One. The one I will end up with, the one I will spend the rest of my life with and grow old with. Raise a family with and entrust to help bring up my children according to my standards and specifications.haha I don’t know… I may be wrong, or it may be too soon to tell. But I would be pretty hesitant to put my heart on the line again for a shot I’m not too sure of. I’d much rather have her as a good friend forever, than have all of her for only a moment and lose her forever. Halloween and Christmas are shaping up to be very difficult. I’m looking forward to the end of this year and hoping that next year is going to be much better for me.

Pepe Cervero

Respite

2011-09-18T10:26:00.000-07:00

So its almost my 24^th birthday and too much has happened in the past year than I can really make sense of. I’ve gone form bad to worse to highs and lows and everyday is so unpredictable that I dare not try to look more than 3 months ahead.

Things have changed so much that I don’t even recognize the life I’m currently living. I don’t know if I’ve made all the right choices these past few months or if things were better the way they were and it has not been easy for me at all. Everyday I wonder if things were better the way they were, or if my choices to change paths were an intervention of bad energies trying to screw with my life, or if they were a nudge toward a greater plan. One thing’s for sure, I’m still in the dark about what I’m supposed to do, how I’m supposed to feel or think, or what’s going to happen next.

We can never truly see how our choices will affect the near or far future. There are too many variables that are unforeseen, and the fact that every other person has the ability to make independent choices as well, can always cause them to make one or two decisions that could mess with the formula.

I have always thought all my choices through. I’m never impulsive nor do I rush into anything. I trust in myself enough to know what I want and what I need, and that every one of my choices, have their bases and reasons. All I really ask is that I don’t lose the strength and faith, to see my decisions through, not for the sake of vindication, but for whatever is best for everyone in my life.

Pepe Cervero

When All Hope Is Lost

2011-03-28T19:36:00.000-07:00

Last night was just one of those crappy nights where all you could do is just bask in your own misery... So annoying! Despite my best efforts to forget all the things that are bringing me much grief lately, I can’t seem to shake off the demons very well. I don’t think I’ve ever been so mad and hurt to see beach pictures before, but I guess I could only expect things to get worse come the following weeks. Except maybe some pictures from Camsur from another time in the past. This will all be nothing compared to what’s to come I’m sure and nothing can prepare me for it.

Ended up waking up at 5am today dreaming about things finally working out somehow. But a dream it will seem to stay, and that is quite clear. I caught myself thinking of doing something pretty rash again, and just before I could really get into my plans, my thoughts start to interfere. The sad thing is, I feel as though I have no real friends left cuz I’ve been abandoned by the 2 closest to me, and I don’t know who else I can trust or run to. Everyone else seems to tolerate, accept or support what’s going on. Am I such a monster that no one seems to be on my side? It’s as if my world had either collapsed in on itself, or has gone on without me and found someone else to live out my part in it, leaving me to find another life.

It pains me to think that maybe because people think im strong, or people think im smart, or people think I know better, that people are also less sensitive or less concerned about how I feel because they think I can just get over anything. Is that fair? I try to be nice, and I try to be strong, and I’m rewarded with more pain and more disappointment. Isn’t it supposed to be lessened? Isn’t that the whole point? Maybe if I was rash, or if I was violent, or if I was suicidal, or crazy or unstable, that people would just leave me be and try not to hurt me. Just like how a mother of a special child takes extra care of her son. Am I damned to eternal hurt and unfairness because I choose to try to be mature? What an irony. I thought I just lost 2 friends and the love of my life, seems that the rest of me that was left was left smashed as well…

Pepe Cervero

10 Days After and 20 Musicians I Can't Be Listening to

2011-03-27T02:39:00.000-07:00

10 days on after things turned sour and things haven’t exactly gotten any easier. As much as I try to distract myself from thinking about her and what she’s done to me, I still can’t stop thinking about them and everything we used to do together being done with someone else.

As it seems, my time alone this weekend has somewhat regressed my progress away from this shit hole. It feels as though, much of my world, has collapsed upon itself, leaving only the bare essentials just barely safe. At this point, I’m no different from the people hit in Japan a few weeks ago. Except my tragedy is not of the physical and material kind, yet bares just as much pain, and just as much grief.

Amidst all this, I can’t even seem to listen to much of the music I used to enjoy because of the memories they invoke. I now know that I can’t be listening to these artists now… sucks!

Phoenix
SOTC
John Legend
John Mayer
The Script
Robin Thicke
The Temper Trap
Katy Perry
Maroon 5
Far Eastern Movement
Kaskade
LMFAO
Deathcab for Cutie
Up Dharma Down
Sinosikat
Armin Van Buuren
Urbandub
Arctic Monkeys
David Guetta
One Republic

** And various hiphop tracks that remind me of Fuel bar.

I don’t think its gonna help my situation either that I won’t have very much money to spend for the next few months given the debts that I must settle. It’s gonna be a hard few weeks…

Pepe Cervero

Real Ghosts Hurt More Than They Haunt

2011-03-22T00:49:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of buying chocolates today to help me feel better, but I kinda went the opposite way when saw Kitkat White… I remember about 2-3 years ago, Kitkat White was our comfort food. It was always around the car, the house and any instance of disappointment merited a bar.

Its just been a chain of endless reminders of old times gone. From the chocolates, to old greeting cards, thoughts of Persian food, a radio ad of The Script’s concert in April and some old pictures from Aquatico that I’ve been trying to bring myself to delete for a few days now but seem to’ve rendered opened and untouched.

I realized this morning that nowhere and nothing that I will do with someone else, can ever be without remembering someone since 3.5 years is a lot of time to use up every possible activity, food and place to go in this tiny piece of land called Manila. I’ve never considered moving to a new city so strongly until today.

Looking at my room this morning, I’m pretty torn between a lot of things. On the one hand, there’re the things that I’m itching to burn in anger! I just can’t bring myself to burn clothes that I could still use. Then there are the things that I stare at while contemplating on discarding them. Until I realized that I’ve been staring and looking back at the same things since Friday and until now, have not yet touched, moved or thrown them. Just today I saw a tattoo of stars and lost it completely. The effects of my short lived weekend seem to be wearing thin again. I need to find a way to survive until the coming one… Everyday is a struggle, and today, I’m just not winning…

Pepe Cervero

Top 40 Places I Can No Longer Go

2011-03-20T01:28:00.000-07:00

I’ve only just realized, that there is quite a lot of places I shan’t be going to for a while or if ever at all. Too many places remind of too many things. If I were to put it down in a list of top 40 places I can no longer go, it would look something like this I guess:

Texas Grill
Persia Grill
Ziggurt
A. Venue
Astoria Plaza
Sta. Mesa
SM Center point
Aquatico
Sonya’s Cupcakes
Zambales
CWC
Lago De Oro
Boracay
Spicy Fingers
Pho Hoa
My Thai
Distillery
BF Paranaque
Pepper Lunch
Power Plant
Mall of Asia
Cuenca
Coffee Bean
Le Souk
Resorts World
The Ramp in Glorietta
The Barbeque place in Moonwalk
The Nomads Field
Various parts of Merville
Hyundai Fort
Mini Fort
Kebab Factory
Shangri-la Mall
Assumption San Lorenzo
Transound
Daet
Raffy’s Gym
Club Manila East
Forever 21
Tyler

Seems to be quite a few places. I just couldn't add several places in Makati since they just aren't avoidable. I mean can anyone really stay away from SM and Glorietta right? Looks like i'm gonna be stuck home for a while...

When Angels and Demons Speak

2011-03-18T02:54:00.000-07:00

I had so much on my head last night that I had to take sleeping pills to put me down, and I still slept at 1AM despite being drunk too. The moment the sleeping pills wore off I was awake right away, which was only 4 hours. Damn it!

Staring at the pills last night made somehow wonder how it would feel to take a hand full. I wonder if I’d sleep for more than a day or just plain OD. I wondered, if I so decided to take my own life, I wonder if I’s really be able to do it? I thought, what would be the most convenient way to things. Jump off the balcony? But if I survive I wouldn’t be able to play sports anymore. What about cutting my wrist? I don’t think I can ever cut myself. I don’t like inflicting pain.haha Meaning the only way I could probably pull that off is with drugs. Interesting thought.

Then I wondered, just 3 weeks ago, I was encouraging Mich to work in the company I’m in. then 2 weeks ago, I offered Ed a job for us to work ion the same company. But the board decided that we didn’t need to hire another person. So maybe I should be thankful to the bosses for not letting me hire someone. What’s more, I was just about to attend a wedding with Mich this weekend, I just realized. Its probably better that I found out about things the way I did instead of us getting left alone for a Saturday where I’m sure things would’ve escalated. So it seemed, my family happened to just talk about the possibility of me losing Mich to Ed the other weekend.

Seemed to be a lot of things leading up to or pointing to these recent events. Maybe I should’ve listened or paid attention. But I really doubt that things would’ve been much different. I’m sure my friends would tell me that I allowed this to happen cuz I let them hang out all the time and I don’t get jealous enough. Seriously? Who am I supposed to listen to? Its one of those damned if you do, damned if you don’t kinda things. Well one thing’s for sure, this weekend is going to be one of the hardest in my life trying to keep myself sane and controlled…

Surprise Attack from The Planet Heartbreak

2011-03-16T22:40:00.000-07:00

Wow! I never would’ve predicted the turn of events. And I thought things were pretty bad when I last said anything on this blog. But boy, was I wrong. I guess in many cultures its not really frowned upon to have your ex girlfriend date your best friend. Maybe I’m just exaggerating. It’s probably not so bad isn’t it?

I still wonder who’s bright idea this was. The funny thing is, that I don’t seem too surprised for some reason. Maybe I thought that Mich was always gonna hurt me really really bad at some point and that I was kinda half hoping that things would end that way, so I wouldn’t even have to think about my decision to forget about her. Ed’s always been quite loyal to me in the 7 years that we’ve known each other. I know he’s a prick at times and is capable of such shit but didn’t think he’d do this to me. Not Ed… I guess I was both right, and wrong about them both. To think that I was half expecting that if they knew what I thought about all this, that they’d come to their senses and maybe at some point I will be able to forgive at least one of them. Apparently not.

When the words, “am I being too selfish to say that we’re happy” enters your ears, and you read messages enumerating all the ways that this could be wrong and end with words “I think its worth it”, form someone who was just 2 months ago together with me, it kinda messes with your thinking and you’re work a little bit. Is it selfish? Obviously! Is it right? Definitely not… is it worth it? I don’t believe anything is worth ruining a good friendship between 2 people. I always believed that when a choice came about between my love interest and my friends, I will always choose my friends. Call me idealistic, naïve or stupid, there’s just no way I can believe what had just happened. And no amount of justification can make things right.

70 days after

2011-03-14T18:54:00.000-07:00

Lately it feels as though I have fewer and fewer people I can trust. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but on many days it certainly feels real. Haven’t exactly had much time or money to go out lately or even hang out with friends, except for people from the office.

The last thing I’d want to see is my ex girlfriend hanging out with my friends all the time, partying with my friends and having all sorts of plans with my friends that don’t include me. I mean I know its all friendly, but am I not supposed to know from someone if they’re hanging out with my ex girlfriend? Never even got an invite for whatever it was. Does this mean, that my friends prefer to hang around my ex over me? I know she’s probably more fun and has the advantage of a proper cup size and ass, but really… how exactly am I supposed to feel about all this? I feel like my world is shrinking and I just live my life without bumping into my ex either through Facebook posts of friends, event pictures or even football games. I can’t even get away from it all through my work since for some twist of faith, the nature of my work will require me to dive into her world. So even digging my teeth into my work isn’t gonna work out completely.

What an odd situation. Sometimes I just wish she was pregnant or something so that I don’t need to decide whether or not I want her back. It would’ve made the decision so much easier and maybe would’ve made this situation far less complicated, as odd as that sounds. Maybe I should just move to a new country and start over. Probably the best choice right now. Let’s just see how things go.

Pepe Cervero

So Take Me Away

2011-01-27T02:42:00.000-08:00

the lights fly by

as i drive past the late hours

with no one by my side

at least no one,

who could explain what its all about

been years of good and hard times

endless sacrifice, late nights

no two hearts can share a beat too long

or tears are cried, when the sun goes down,

tears are cried

with the moment gone, move on

thinking, life is full of amazing faces

but as each day fades away

nothing stays the same

so take me away

i tried to take the pieces

and put them back the same

with every piece that's wrong

it didn't take very long

to feel the pain

with a pen in my hand

i free my tears in black and white

hoping that some day

these letters would fade away

The Asian Cup: A Haven for Stand Up Comedians

2011-01-19T00:24:00.000-08:00

After several days of watching the Asian Cup on TV, I’ve realized that not many people have been sharing my odd interest in the games. The football has been quite good actually, but what’s really keeping me entertained are the line ups of countries playing against each other. It’s just a hot bed for racial jokes.

On one group, you’ve got Iran and Iraq, who have always been at war with each other and both with nuclear weapons. Throw in the same group, North Korea, and you’ve got yourself a group! I can only imagine how its like to make a bad call as a referee in any of their games. I highly doubt you’d ever see that referee ever again. The committee should give all the referees aliases for the tournament just to be sure. If only North Korea could have progressed from the group stages, then they’d face off with South Korea and we’ll really see some sparks fly! I’d bet during the game, there’d be mysterious explosions back in their home countries. Whomever strikes first is anyone’s guess. There’s also the possibility the Japan face off with South Korea, should be interesting as well. I just wish Israel was an Asian country and was in the tourney together with Iraq in the groups. I’d bet there’d be crowd riots all round.

Interestingly, it’s called the Asian cup, but when you watch the games and listen to the names of all the teams and players, it’s really not you’re stereotypical American definition of Asian. Which is usually, more of oriental, like Chinese, Japanese or Korean. Black hair, chinky eyed folks. But what you do get in the Asian Cup is a lot of Middle-eastern and Gulf countries and truck loads of Al Hassans, Al Huseins and everything you can put “AL” in front of and of course, we can’t forget the Mohammeds. So by social definition of what “Asian” is supposed to look like, you’d be caught off guard watching the games, especially when there’s also Australia and Uzbekistan in the mix. Wouldn’t it be grand if the US was in the tournament and Afghanistan qualified in the same group?! But in the end, the football is really pretty good anyway so it’s worth watching. Gotta love the Asian Cup!

Pepe Cervero

Underwear Questions

2011-01-12T09:23:00.000-08:00

I was bummed out today to realize that it was that time again when I had to replenish my stock of undergarments in my closet. Why can’t these things just last forever, if they did no one would need to buy more since they hardly see the light of day anyway. Hence my walk of shame walking through the department store trying to canvas and compare prices, material, shapes and sizes as I would normally do for any other clothing. But as you would guess when shopping at SM, the moment you walk by, every sales woman of every brand is practically waiving their brand samples in your face. Seeing as it’s a slightly sensitive subject, you’d think they’d be a little more discrete with the way they’d convince you to "check out the goods".

What bothers me is how most of the sales people, men or women, mostly women, would usually come to you with suggestions and will willingly size you up and try to guess your size and unfold several options up in the air for you to check out their shape as if picturing if it will look good on you or not. Hmmmm awkward… and to think I was looking for plain boxers and boxer briefs. I can only imagine how weird things would be had I asked for a thong or any techni-colored pieces of various shapes, not happening... Which brings me to my real question… how is it that women seem to be much more comfortable in shopping for underwear than men are? Or is it just me?

Soon after I walked by the lingerie store in Greenbelt and pondered on the stark difference in movement, body language, facial expression and tone of voice of the women shopping there. I made the comparison because there was another guy at SM who came a little after me who seemed to be having difficulty as well, while the wife on the other isle was glad to speak loudly of her inquiries to the clerks. Which leads me to believe that women find a sensual connection to their underwear and enjoy the thrill of finding that good piece that will make them feel sexy and confident on the inside. This is sadly proven by the many, well, “unflattering” women commuting around with parts of their “clothing” on display by accident (barfing). While, on the other hand, men, well, we just give less of a fuck about sexy, and only care about 2 things: that "the boys" are comfortable, and that women continue their obsession for good underwear.

Pepe Cervero

New Years Again! Woohoo!

2011-01-02T20:24:00.000-08:00

It’s now 2011 and there are a lot of things that have just past for 2010. What a year indeed! It was more than fitting to end the year in the way that we did. Gone out of town, surfing, drinking, eating like pigs and enjoying the beach with family. But so much more new things to look forward to for 2011. I feel like I’m starting with a fresh clean slate. I’ve already done a lot of firsts for the year. Had my first football game and goal for the year yesterday, first purchase of Gatorade and in a bit my first purchase of furniture, which I’m quite excited about. The first surf for the year was awesome too!

So what have I got planned out for the year? Well, I don’t want to spoil the fun but I already have a few plans lined up. Hoping the band can finally get back on it’s feet, fix my blogs, a new job would definitely dictate much of how this year is going to turn out so I’m pretty excited about that too. I also expect my football to have not just caught up to my last highest level, but to move up a notch or 2 before the year ends. Also wouldn’t hurt to get back in shape so I can work on several things. 2010 was a short and fast year for me, if 2011 is going to be the same, then I’d best be getting started on all my goals before the year draws to a close again.

Pepe Cervero

Ah, The Christmas Taxi Hell Again

2010-12-19T20:27:00.000-08:00

Its that time of year again. That time when cab drivers assume their natural place as kings of the damn road! What awesome power they posses. The power to choose to work when they want, to go where ever they want, to take whomever they want... there are even he one’s who are annoying enough to rant and complain about everything you make them do when you get in. What pricks!

Every year, just when people get their year end bonuses, it becomes near impossible to get a comfortable ride around the Metro. Everyone is queuing for cabs and the lines snake around city blocks at the taxi stands. Every space of side walk is lined with peop

le trying to find the best spot to catch a taxi, as if sport fishing out in the water. With every filled taxi that passes, tempers rise, and every empty cab that passes who just doesn’t even bother to stop after taking one glance at you only makes matters worse. What’s more is when they stop and ask you where you’re going and they just shrug you off after they know. Some do it quietly with a nice excuse while others just rudely complain about the traffic. Then of course there’s my favourite kind, the one who ask for excess tips, fixed cab rates and do it as if the world owes them a favour.

There’s way too many people looking for cabs at this time of year anyway, i can’t see how any cab driver will not find his fair share of work to do. In fact, they get so much that they’re the ones choosing where they wanna go and who they wanna take. Cab drivers in this country are far too smug overall anyway. Something needs to be done about this and i wont take the sympathy card that they play about being poor or just being a cab driver making minimum wage or whatever. When the riding stops, the madness can too.hahaha the sad thing is that most people are quite happy to leave a tip anyway, especially at this time of year. But people asking for it out right as if it were a debt just gets me. If every cab was nice, the world will be a much better place to live in and drive in. Otherwise, they can all go to hell or just find something else to do.

Pepe Cervero

Philippine Football Shame

2010-12-16T18:02:00.000-08:00

The Philippine Football team just recently lost against Indonesia in the first leg of the Suzuki Cup semi-final 1-0 in Jakarta. The sad part is, it was supposed to be a home game, played in the Philippines! The set up of the semi-finals was that there’d be 2 games played with each team getting a chance to host the other team in their home stadiums. Because of a lack of proper playing facilities, the Philippine home game was played instead in Indonesia. In front of 80,000 Indonesian supporters! The sad part is, there is a good stadium in the Philippines in Bacolod but the head of the Philippine Football Federation is rivals with the guy who runs the place, who is also the same guy who might replace him at this post. This was the field used during the last South East Asian games. In the end, the field was never even submitted to the officials for inspection. They should’ve already identified a home field even before the games started. What team plays without a home field?! The funny thing is, the Philippine team was nicknamed the Azkals, and quit accurately in the end as they’re pretty much “homeless”.

The sad part is, football in the Philippines has been on a constant rise lately yet the PFF is nowhere involved in its progress. Disappointing still is that FIFA gives the PFF $250,000 annually to develop football in the country yet it’s the independent groups outside who seem to be contributing much more to the development of the sport than they are. With a multitude of groups outside of the PFF, who are contributing to the overall popularity of the sport. From opening training camps, to setting up various tournaments and I think the spread of futsal in the Philippines actually helps a lot since its played on basketball courts, which is in no short supply in this country. Also, since it started getting popular, futsal has always been very co-ed. Which is why it is really helping the popularity of the sport. Getting women into the sport really helps its popularity. Of course it does, the more women play or recognize football as a sport the admire, the more young men will play and try to get good to admired by women. Simple formula! It just takes a proper campaign to really push football awareness in this country. I’ve got my ideas, but they’ll have to wait for a little later. In the meantime, the politics and the corruption must stop and im still hoping for an upset against Indonesia in the return game on Sunday at 7pm in Indonesia. WE NEED to WIN BY 2 GOALS people, lets do this!!!

Pepe Cervero

When Government Fails, No One Really Wins

2010-12-14T20:36:00.000-08:00

I was highly exposed yesterday to the news about Hubert Webb being acquitted from a 15 year old law suit. Mixed opinions everywhere about the decision with others saying that he really did commit the crime and the family just paid off the officials, others say that there’s no way he could’ve done anything like that. 2 sides of the same coin that can never be reconciled at this point. The problem is, its not either family that’s the culprit here. In fact they are both victims.

What kind of judicial system, allows 15 years to pass for a decision to be made regarding a rape and murder case? Its bad enough that there is a complete lack of equipment and expertise in analyzing forensic evidence in this country, it doesn’t help that the courts just don’t seem to care enough. on the one side, the courts had just caused the imprisonment of an innocent man, according to their decision anyway, for 15 years. He practically served a sentence already hasn’t he? So you mean to say, if he was going to get 20 years, that he’s 20 years of jail time would start after 15 years of being imprisoned while the court case was going on? Bullshit! On the other side of the coin, under the assumption that he is indeed innocent, how then will the authorities find the real crooks after 15 years of barking up the wrong tree? I’m not for either side here as there is insufficient grounds for me to agree with either side.

The point here is, in the absence of a proper judicial system, it allows for further abuse to happen in the community. People are defenseless as any court case would take decades to settle, with no assurance of a good decision. Hence, people just don’t go to court anymore. People are now just forgetting about their rights because there’s no way to uphold them without running yourself into the ground in debt for paying all the lawyers. Then people wonder how come the country is in a mess. How can it not be in a mess? The country is basically letting a mass of undereducated run free on the streets to do whatever they want without any serious means of control or disciplinary action, with the hopes that people will just behave and treat each other fairly while those in power rob the needy of a brighter future. The systematic de-evolution of a country’s internal infrastructure (people structures) can only be corrected by no less than a systematic evolution of equal scale. Also known as a miracle.

Pepe Cervero

Relaxation Crisis

2010-12-13T19:00:00.000-08:00

Despite my cashless state lately, I’ve been contemplating on buying a nice comfortable chair for my room. My choices have narrowed down basically to 2 options. Option one is a big ass bean bag that will fit my whole back and will have enough excess on the sides to act as arm rests. Oh yes! I can already feel the comfort and relaxation im gonna get from that thing. I’ve found a nice seller too. I’ve always wanted my own bean bag ever since I was little. But I could never really find a good seller whenever I actually had money. Im looking at a curdoroy bean bag.haha I dunno if I spelled that right but whatever.

Option 2 is an unexpected surprise. Its basically like an air bed but shaped like a big doughnut with cushioning on the inside. One side of the doughnut is raised more than the other to serve as the backrest and there’s a head rest with stereo speakers on either side that you can hook up to your iPod. Not something that’s of any use to me since there’s a stereo system in my room, but its just a neat idea that for some reason, even if you know you’re never gonna use it, the fact that its there, makes the chair seem much more cool and adds a little bit of appeal. This chair is actually cheaper by a 40% than the bean bag but they’re both with their pros and cons.

On the one side, a bean bag is probably more stylish, more durable and is more flexible as you can shift positions and stuff. The 2^nd option is more of a one type of sitting thing but you can adjust the softness and stiffness of the chair, and if its taking up too much room, you can deflate it and put it away and then just inflate it when you wanna use it. An interesting dilemma indeed. I hope I find the answer before the year ends.haha

Pepe Cervero

When Things Go Bad

2010-12-13T02:23:00.000-08:00

I find myself wallowing in self pity today after having one of the weirdest football games I’ve had in years yesterday. A game of 2 halves indeed. I started like a firecracker and I was even disappointed not to have scored more. But then soon after, I played so bad I can’t even think about how I managed to play like that. I normally don’t think about how to do the things I do when I play. I just think of something I wanna do and my body and feet execute. Half the time, im not too sure how I do what I do, my body just acts on an idea I get while playing and it happens. But yesterday was different. Every time I told my body to do something, it didn’t seem to know how to do it and kept fumbling as if all my wires had been crossed or something. I couldn’t even hit the ball right in front of me at times. I felt retarded and stupid, as if I didn’t know how to do anything. Cuz no matter how hard I tried to correct my weird state, I seemed to be digging myself a deeper grave.

Sometimes the mind and the body don’t seem to understand each other very well. I cant say I know when these things happen but it’s quite obvious that they do, not just in sport of course. When the mind and the body can fail to work together as a team, what are the chances for 2 or more different people to even work together? Its almost hard to imagine that people can work seamlessly together when parts of the same person can fail to communicate. Yet time and again people have proven this wrong. How to get that magic formula to make an odd mix of people work, no one can really say. But when it happens its just magic. Its like a band taking off with a piece of music and just naturally feeling each others playing for what to play next. An experience that takes over one’s body and elevates it to a higher level of appreciation of the given moment.

Sometimes, life is not about the past or the future but really more of the given moment. Although some double standards can be played since good moments you’d wanna prolong and bad ones you’d want to end abruptly. living in the past or thinking too much of the future robs us of today. Of course a balance is always in order I guess. But for this particular moment, I don’t feel like moving or doing anything and I’d wanna play out this moment until I can recover fully to start pounding on life again.

Pepe Cervero

Difficult Choices

2010-12-10T19:28:00.000-08:00

I’ve gaining a fast growing appreciation for great sound systems and highly comfortable chairs lately. With the overall goal of course of sitting very comfortably and closing your eyes to float away in a sea of melody and musical bliss. As if to take my mind and send it afloat, free of the current, free to think and feel what it pleases, or be guided by the tones, emotions or memories invoked by the music. Funny thing, a few years back, some people said, the iPod was excessive, who needed so much space for music anyway, they said. Quite frankly, I think we all know the answer to that. I always want all my music with me so I can match the sounds to what I feel like feeling at a given time. Each song, each note, invokes a specific feeling.

That fact established, doesn’t that place so much more responsibility on the shoulders of the music industry and its players. Imagine, having the power to invoke emotion, memories, feelings, action in specific people. That’s as close to mind control as most of us will get. You could say its more of inspiring people. But you can’t deny what this could potentially be.

The question in my mind is whether you want to be the listener, or he creator. Do you want to be influenced, inspired or the one creating inspiration, creating influence. Jack Black kept saying in the movie “School of Rock” that one great rock show, can change the world. on many degrees, he makes a whole lot of sense. The beauty about humanity, is that we don’t always have to just one and not the other. We get to choose just once. Its always a continuous choice, a commitment if you so choose it. People are born free with the right to choose at any time. Every man’s choice is his own, and the results of their choice, is not for anyone to judge, but rather just act and choose according to how things have now turned out. That’s the chain of life right there.

Pepe Cervero

Soul Searching

2010-12-09T18:55:00.000-08:00

Countless people have said that music speaks to the soul. As it turns out, in recent weeks, it really has for me. You could say that I’ve been on my very own personal retreat, and have done a lot of soul searching for a while. Well, ever since I quit my job. Although I’m still getting used to the empty afternoons, I’m no stranger to the life of the unemployed. It’s not one I fear; as I believe any time spent looking into yourself is always productive. What’s the point of doing anything else if you cannot reconcile with yourself. In the end, it’ll be yourself who becomes happy with whatever you’ve done anyway right?

In the few days I’ve been spending at home, well if not for the lack of a stable income source, I’ve been feeling much more accomplished and satisfied with my life. I make no regrets leaving my previous work. It’s just been stressful looking for a new one as the inevitable stage of mass stereotyping, character judging and prejudice and show and tell. Pride will always dictate that it’s a bad thing to be rejected, but with a little faith, good music and a beautiful day, none of it seems to matter.

Life is a merry mix of different things that we choose to make part of it. We all have a choice in everything we do. What our lives contain and mean to us, is entirely up to how we would like to define it. For as long as there is great soul food around to indulge the senses and uplift the spirit, nothing can really stay wrong.

Pepe Cervero

(repost) Everything Breaks

2010-09-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

Every thing breaks. Nothing is indestructible. This is one truth you can count on. I feel that my breaking point is fast approaching. No single aspect or side of my life can break me down, but a multiple attack from all angles, is a whole different story.

People grow up wanting very simple things in life. To be what they dream of being growing up and to feel happy in the process or as a result. No one ever said that hell will meet us first and there's no promise that we can even truly be what we set off to be in life.

When a man becomes desperate, he does crazy things that feel normal or acceptable. When emotional pressure hits its peak, i can laugh and just have a beer. When professional pressure hits its peak, its even easier to deal with, im just the best at what i do. When your pride is tested to the limits, i can lower my expectations. When your dreams seem to be bleak, you can always find new dreams, maybe not as high but still fulfilling. But when a man's will is broken, any little bit can run you down, and no amount of compensation will ever suffice.

Random Thought: Success

2010-08-24T08:02:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow’s the due date of school work for my class and somehow i find myself dragging my feet. Surprisingly, the whole week i’ve found myself dragging my feet. But i don’t think it’s cuz i’m tired or depressed or anything like that. Somehow, i guess i just feel unchallenged by the whole situation. Seems like there’ve been countless situations in the past where i think that things were much worse and i was able to pull through just fine, so this shouldn’t be of any different. Thought this may be true, i might make it easier on myself to just do things now and spare myself the stress. But i don’t, cuz that wouldn’t thrill me. Why do i even need the thrills? To feel alive? To be challenged?

Many people cringe at the thought or sight of a drug addict. As soon as the label arises, there are countless judgements on what this person is and what he may never be. People are not wrong cuz of what or who they are, but from what they do. A lot of the time, the people who judge other people who are beyond the convention are the one’s who act upon their judgement with hurtful or unfair actions. Are they not themselves addicted to their ideal of “what is good and not good”, what is acceptable in society, or what they perceive should be the way life must be lived by everyone?

People love to be thrilled to feel alive and continually seek for lasting happiness. How come we can’t just feel alive period and be happy about it?hahaha Why the need for the cheap thrills of acceptance, accomplishment, affirmation, belonging, admiration, desire or success? Are these not words in which man has put meaning to during the course of his existence? They never meant anything to anyone until the someone said, “i think i want or need that”. Makes you wonder if you’re feelings of depression and anxiety over the lack of or the absence of these things in your life, would still hold true or affect you if you never knew what any of these concepts meant. Maybe all people need to do in this life is to unlearn everything we were ever taught to know.

pepe cervero

Random Thoughts: Patriotism

2010-08-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

Some guy i quite admire (Anthony de Mello) once said, that he salutes to no flag, but only to he flag of humanity. What blasphemy you say? Yet I share his conviction, except i haven't been able to remove my patriotic biases as of yet given that my country needs its heros. But lets stop to look at this and dwell on the sentences previously said.

Countries, tribes, and groups are born of the human perception that people need to belong... What's wrong with this statement? Did you ever stop to think that if you were never taught to belong, that you wouldn't feel the need for it and that not belonging will mean nothing to you? People everyday hit rock bottom with depression screaming "nobody loves me" or "i do not feel loved". If you were never programmed to seek or desire love, would you really feel the same way? Why not just love unconditionally without the back thought of hoping to receive love back at some level or from someone sometime later. Is this not selfish? Many of the our beliefs, convictions, conventions or so called truths that we live by are all a result of the "human condition". If humans never thought these things out, they wouldnt exist in the natural world, and everything will be just fine.

Now back to countries... Is it god of man who drew up the borders of countries, made the rules of engagement, created international economics, international business, patriotism and culture? What is culture? The common belief system and practice of a group of people in a geographical area is it not? But don't these "cultures" discount the unique facets, attitudes and beliefs of the individual? These are conventions that men are born into, as a result of centuries of people influencing their beliefs into society. As a result, people have gone to war for god and country, have set up international economics and finance that enslaves 3rd world countries, set up rules for trading of resources, rules for international business. Isn't everything designed to safeguard the well being of the countries who designed these rules?

So now imagine, if there existed no countries, no borders, no racial biases, no patriotism, no international economics, no international alliances, flags or individual cultures. If there was only one flag for "Humanism" for lack of a better word, don't you think every country will indiscriminately help every other country's people, without bias and without restrain, in the same way they do for family or countryman? In this scenario, will you really miss or need patriotism, culture, or countries? I dont think so...

pepe cervero

Random Quote

2010-08-22T20:31:00.001-07:00

why is it that the more you find out that you're right, the more under-appreciated you feel? hmmm... Maybe not knowing is better.

Rekindling my Inspiration

2010-08-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

Its nice to know that certain people of authority and respect tend to teach and lecture about things that i may have stumbled upon but didnt know how to organize or explain. I’m not saying that i already know everything they’re talking about. All I’m saying, is that I’m happy to know that much of the things I’ve lived by are sound and not ludicrous.

The only thing i find difficult about this is that the more I move along the path i want, more and more people will not not understand my ways and continue to question my way of life. Even if this does not affect me much, i feel burdened to explain or at least slightly, talk about why i do what i do. But then, if one minute of inconvenience for me to explain, leads to one other person realizing the stupidity of the world painted by society, my one minute will have been more than worth it.

I may not be able to change everything that i’ve set out to change in the world, because im not an expert at everything and i cannot do everything. But if i could make a change in 100 people, who can affect one or more areas of life, then that would be 100 or more things i’ve lead to change that i may not be able to change on my own. Sounds like a pretty good plan to me. Whether or not the credit goes to me or any other renowned speaker, to have more people realize that the world we know and live in, is not the real world, but the world that man built from his own ignorance and insecurity is good enough for me.

pepe cervero

Prodigal Son?

2010-08-03T23:42:00.000-07:00

Its always very hard to let go of things you've poured your heart and soul into for long periods of time. Specially if things are supposed to going just fine. Then again, all good things must come to an end right?

Been doing a lot of thinking lately, as usual. I just realized that I do so much thinking in an average day that I think all the way into my sleep. Even in my dreams I see everything I’m thinking about and I even get the answers to some questions in my sleep. Some of my better ideas have even come from sitting on the thrown for my regular routine. But the biggest problem with ideas, is they're so hard to put together, yet so easy to pull apart.

Watching Inception last month was a great reconnection for me to my artistic side. One which I haven’t connected with in a while. The band is dead and I can find little time to play the guitar lately. I can hardly muster the energy to write anymore. I just wish I could call my football my art. It’s just too bad that I’m not getting enough practice to play the way I used to. Back when I could say that my game was an art.

Usually makes me wonder whether I’m really prioritizing the right things in life. I miss the days of the band when things felt so light and simple. When even just a great song or jam was enough to lighten up a whole week. When getting 2000 bucks was already cause for celebration. I’ve grown so fast in the past few years that i may just have thrown a chunk of my growing life away.

They say perception equals reality. Such a powerful concept. My perception has constantly changed but my reality seems to have stayed the same. There must be layers of perception that create various dynamics it seems. Maybe its that time again when I have to rethink my life and where I wanna take it, before I make another move. In the meantime, keep them beers and good food coming!

Pepe Cervero

When Nature Takes it's Course

2010-03-01T17:03:00.001-08:00

Have you ever wondered how some people whom you dont even find remotely inteligent, have manage to end up in a high paying job, with a big title? Its happened to most of us i'm sure and as we speak, he or she is probably just in the next room talking about varioys things that they've learned fro somewhere but don't understand. At some levels, you dont even understand, most of the things they say because they dont make much sense on a logical level. But inthe end, you have no choice but to bend over to their persistent whining.

Ah yes, the world of capitalism. Where its dog eat dog and survival of the fittest. Yet just as evolution, there are some lucky species who defy logic and seem to thrive despite their short comings. Some people say its luck, i just think its sad. Its like mother nature decided to join a charity organization to help the needy and they just happened to get picked. But as all things out of the ordinary, father time has a way of cleaning up the i adequecies of mother nature's rash decision making. Father time is the man and he keeps his pimp hand strong. I just hope he moved much faster before stupid people get the chance to mess up a perfectly good world. But as i've always said, when the weeding starts, it will not be stopped, and the weeds, will be cut off.

Ahh i feel the monster inside oozing out again. This is what the world of man does to you. As for me, i've just been trying to keep this beast in as much as i can, but without my music, the savage beast reigns.

Random Thought 28

2010-02-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

I've been wondering to an extent why or how alcohol and other so called "sin products" and, well any product that plays with your mind and senses, had become so deeply rooted in our human existence. Could you really imagine the world without alcohol? Maybe we're just so used to these things being around. But if you really think about it, it's quite likely that there is a very psychological reason behind.

I'm quite sure i've covered this topic once before but on a different angle. This time around, let's try a different route. It's been my experience that a bottle or two of beer feels really good after a hard day's work and specially on a bad day or one of frustration. Everyone knows that. Thing is, frustration and stress will always exist for as long as people remain different and unique. The easiest way to get frustrated is to talk to someone who has very different views as you and you can just never agree on anything. That's just one person, what about a whole bunch of people that you live with everyday? Family, friends, workmates, strangers girlfriends, boyfriends, we're always with other people and time and again, you will reach a point of disagreement, maybe more so in the work place.

This very situation means that people are destined to disagree, and are forced to forever live in a world of compromise. This is probably why the concept of heaven is so powerful, and unimaginable to an extent. Because to have complete happiness and content, in the presence of millions of other people, to me is just hard to draw up. Heaven aside, how does this all tie up with my initial point?

Quite simply, alcohol and other things that play with your head tend to bend reality on varying levels, to fit your idea of a good time. Of course some drugs and substances tend to do this on a much greater scale, so its not hard to imagine that legality and supply aside, that these things will always fetch a high price and demand in the eyes of various people. Because the world can never bend to how you want it to be. But you can find various ways to bend the way you see the world, to make things that little bit more bearable, whether you need artificial help, alcohol or just plain self-conditioning.

When Change Comes Knocking

2010-02-25T16:49:00.000-08:00

I was looking back the other day at the things i was doing 1 or 2 years ago and i was entertained to note the amount of difference. It's not that i didn't like what i was doing or what i am doing now, in fact i enjoyed my life 2 years ago. They are just 2 very different animals, incomparable indeed.

People say that change is the only thing that's constant in this world. Some change for the better, some for the worst and other, just because they feel the need to. Any amount of change will always be viewed differently by the people it affects. There are too many variables involved to make one change affect 2 different people the exact same way. Sometimes even just a person's perspective on the matter makes a big difference.

My daily activities and my tasks may have changed dramatically over the past 2 years, but my dreams, values and convictions have remained the same. What i do does not change the way I am, in the same way that what i accomplish does not shape who i am. I've spoken once about someone telling me "i hope you don't change...", and now as much as then, i still agree. What drives me remains the same, though the vehicles to take me there might bi different, i trust the end result will be the same. Change is inevitable, but "change", ain't got notin' on my fate!hahaha

Pepe Cervero

The iPad and the ugly truth

2010-02-11T01:19:00.001-08:00

There's been too much talk about the upcoming release of the Apple iPad. It's been a mix of excitement, controversy, jokes and everything you could think of. At the end of all the talk and all the videos, hype and propaganda, the standing question is, "Would you buy one?"... The things is though, its really not just a matter of yes or no.

Technology has a way of affecting sociocultural norms and it has done so, repeatedly in the past. There was the invention of the automobile, the laptop, the internet, the mobile phone, e-mail. Who can dare say that they can live without any of these things. It's almost unfathomable, isn't it? These are all modern comforts, and more importantly, modern necessities that did not even exist 50 years back. Technology has this ability to manufacture needs and create social norms. It's always just a matter of having the right break through, at the right time. This "power" has shifted through out the decades through various hands, Ford, IBM, Microsoft and others. So the real question you should be asking is, "Does Apple hold this power?"

Looking at Apple's past, a pattern becomes apparent. They had break throughs with laptops, but that didnn't do it, they created the most creative desktop, but that didn't do it either. They hit it big with the iPod that has changed the way the world consumes and shares music and video, I sense a power shift. The cracked the mobile phone industry wide open with the release of the iPhone, not as convincing as the iPod, but pretty damn impressive none the less. Now comes the iPad, considering that it can live up to expectations, will change the way the people consume modern media. It will be no surprise that broadcast media will compromise to ride this wave, it has already started. Print media is one of the first to open up to this new iPad ideal. It may not be perfect nor impressive when it comes out. But if enough market sectors and industries are affected by this device, recognize and capitalize on its sociocultural potential, then this could very well be the next big technology to force its way into the cultural fabric of tomorrow. This seems to be Apple's objective anyway, with the "high-technology at an affordable price" thing going on.

As the answers to these questions unfold, us mortals are left to wait and wonder not if we want to get one or not, but more of, will we need to have one, and when that time will come. hmmmmm

Pepe Cervero

School and Work

2010-02-04T17:45:00.000-08:00

I was on a ranting session yesterday. Various names kept coming up as i talked myself into a frenzy. Most of what happened lead me think about people in general and how they judge and percieve scholastic achievement. Hmmm... Touchy subject.

Let's cut it straight to the chase. Throwing myself into a hypothetical example, if i was interviewing to hire someone for a management or a supervisory position, would i or would i not accept applicants who finished top of their class i school? The simple answer is, it depends, but for me, its more likely to be NO. Why so? Scholastic achievements cannot measure a person's mental ability, work potential, emotional quotient and adaptability. All it really measures is how much you know the subject matter that you've finished and how much effort and priority you put in getting there. Bravo! Which brings us to the next question. So what?

Well, lets state an example. If you graduate top of the class in computer sciences then i'll probably get you to be part of IT, but not to lead it. Because chances are you will be the best at your subject matter, but being the best in that department, may have lead you to put less emphasis on other important aspects of management and work. You may not be as adaptable, sociable, experienced with economics and marketing or management, you might find it more difficult to deal with people, or have a lack of street smarts and practicality. It could be one, it could be many. All of which are equally important. The fact of the matter is, that the academe can only simulate the real world within the controlled walls of the school and under a standard performance metric. This means that your grade tells you how well you;ve performed according to the school established metric or situation. When things in the real world change dramatically, then your training has just become obsolete. The standard "mentoring" system where teachers teach students also has an innate flaw. Which is that your education is only as good as the teachers who teach you, and since they are the gate keepers of your grades, they can only grade you relative to their experience and ability. Students who in theory are beyond the teacher's abilities, tend to get in accurate marks as the mentors themselves will be unable to quantify or understand the student's potential or actions.

To summarize, i wouldn't mind getting someone else to manage who knows only a bit about computers but is well versed in other things. Why? Because people who know their way around, will always be able to utilize and maximize those who specialize in certain tasks. Because when you're on top, you dont need to know how to do power point, when you can get someone who's better at it, to do it for you.

Life and work is all about leverage and positioning. One cannot do everything, but by using other people, the end result is the same. How to do this is the challenge which separates the men from the boys. But one thing's for sure, you don't learn that in school.

Random Thought 25

2010-02-03T17:18:00.000-08:00

After playing football last night, i came to realize just how much skill im lacking now and how far i am from how good i remember myself to be. Thing is, it has a way of playing with your head, affecting your decision making, and ultimately worsening the situation. Its a vicious cycle that only will power can really overcome.

Thing is, there's always much to learn fro sport if you really know how to look and recognize. Its been the same thing with the way i presen and project myself in a crowd. I used to do it really well, back when i thought myself to be super star material. But ever sonce i've cooled down, laid back and become "artsy", things have been different. Continuing with this thought, it makes it hard for me to identify exactly what i am and what i good at. Cuz it looks somethkng like this...

I'm a born engineer who's been trained in econoics but is i the profession of marketing during the day, semi-dormant band musician by night and a retired football star on weekends, making a futile effort to be a grad student and make some money on the internet. Hmmm.. Can you say confusing? Well... Nobody ever said you must choose what you want to be in life and be only what you've chosen. The rules of life change and so do the ways of playing. What the mind chooses, the body can always adjust to. Besides, the world today as we know it has been designed and shaped by human minds. So it isnt impossible to figure out.

fantasy football

2010-01-31T17:54:00.000-08:00

The football drama continues as a surprise result in last sunday's tournament has brought renewed vigor to a once demoralized team. This past weekend, i wasn't expecting to do well at all. In fact i had already made plans for more footall after lunch since i expected the group stages to end by lunch tme and that my team will have won no games or score no points. Especially after the very disappointing spell of bad games i last weeks tournament.

Surprisingly enough, dispite the better caliber of teams playing in this league, we managed to play very well. It wasnt pretgy but it was very efficient. Controlled the game well, pressured the defernce, defended tightly, kept possesion and had most teams on their toes with sharp attacking moves. To think that we applied the same system as last week, but with a few line up changes. As it turned out, the line up changes really played into our favor as the people who i thought were ruining the flow of the team, didnt play, and others who were better at adjusting and playing a flowing game came in. Plus, since we had less players, i had more minutes which i really should have anyway. A flowing game is what i do and the system the team runs can only work with players who can switch up positions, run up and down to attack and defend and tackle hard when necessary, or pretty much anytime the oposing striker is far from the penalty area.

Long story short, if last week week was a calamity, this week was just destiny i think, as we somehow pulled out 2nd place in the whole thing. And quite convincingly at that. I always knew that there was just no way our team was as bad at the game as we showed i last weeks tourny. And last sunday was proof. We may have been a bit lucky, but with the current line up, i could expect us to win more often now to say the least. I just hope my goal scoring and finishing start to kick in soon. Because if im up to my scoring ways again, that would be a big factor when going up to stronger teams. In my count, i should've had 4 goals yesterday. But i didnt get any. I blame a real bad 1st touch, which tends to happen when im out of practice or fatigued and sleep deprived. Lets see how that part of my gqme progresses in the cong weeks.

A Time to Change

2010-01-27T18:59:00.000-08:00

Various events really have a way of playing with your head. It's no surprise that some people choose to forget things after the come, less hassle, less stress. Of course that option brings with it it's own set of draw backs, but of course, it's always going to be a case of choosing the lesser evil, as with much of life i guess.

If this observation holds true, then i would come at an obvious disadvantage seeing as there are a lot of things i am involving myself with, and every little thing will have its own set of events and moments. We cannot predict all the things that could happen to the things we know and love. We can only take our best bets and make an effort to steer things in the right direction. But despite all this, life can always choose to have the last laugh.

I don't expect to outplay the game called life. I just want to get by with as little a fuss as i can while trying to make that journey a little bit more comfortable whenever i can. Whatever happens in the not so distant future, probably won't contribute to what i want to achieve.

Philippines and Football

2010-01-21T18:02:00.000-08:00

While doing nothing this morning i had a random flash back on some conversations i had this week. One question left unanswered that i revisited was, "Why can't football be more popular in the Philippines and basketball is the sport of choice?". Filipinos are in no way made for basketball anyway. We're too short and built too small. You just need to look at the national team and see, that everyone above 6'3" is an imported player or half black and half filipino or, half white. Yet in every corner of the damn country, you see kids who are yey high, playing with a ball and a make shift basketball ring out of steel wire or something, attached to wooden posts that hold up the power lines. We explained that we're a poor country and football had always been a high end sport cuz you needed a field to play on, which wasnt cheap. In rebbutal, africa and brazil were brought up who had the same problem, but they just played anywhere on any thing... Silence... End of 1st revisited conversation...

2nd conversation was me saying that people belive everything they see on TV or on facebook. That was just last night. As it turns out, the answer to conversation 1 had just come out of my own mouth and my excuse for saying that its a poor coutry still holds true.

In the Philippines there is no televised profesional football league. There is only a profesional basketball league, and local TV channels only show basketball and volleyball all the time. There is hardly any local channel that airs any football games. On the other hand, cable TV, which is too expensive for the masses but is quite popular to higher-end citizens, shows football all the time from various countries. These same people who use cable, usually dont even bother with the local basketball league cuz they'd much rather watch the NBA. Hence the large disparity of sports exposure, massively contributes to the patronage or mispatronage of whatever sport in this country. Hmmm... If that is the case, then the Philippines is doomed and im just brilliant.haha

Platfrom2u Puts a Smilds on my face

2010-01-20T16:45:00.000-08:00

It's often funny when your at an event where the host seems a bit more lost than you are. Specially in the presence of quite influential people. Obviously, the situation proved to be too much. But bad host or not, it didn't seem to take away, not even a little, from the experience of business, Malaysian style. One Mr. Edward Ling, CEO of a wheatgrass business, who seems to only be exploring the realm of the internet, stood amongst internet giants to deliver the message of promise, that the internet really is the next frontier for business and even people outside its circle are noticing.

Platform2u.com, a Malaysian company, seems to have developed one of the most compelling little innovations in a while. They developed, what they call, “SMILDS.com”, an e-commerce mega platform for the future. As explained, SMILDS.com is an e-commerce store in a box, including payment, logistics, customer management system, web tools and is easy to integrate with social networks. Seems like they even get really good courier and banking rates so it's definitely a cheaper option than opening up your own connections. Unless of course your amazon or something. Platform2u went a step further still to open up a smilds mall, which is an e-commerce portal where customers can browse and search for the products and items they need and get re-directed to the stores that sell the products. A unique feature worth mentioning is the cross selling engine, where people within the same smilds network can carry and sell each others' products for a little commission. Excellent stuff. Smilds is not new to me of course since i work for the same person who brought the company to the Philippines. But it hasn't lessened my interest and desire for one of my own accounts.

Smilds connect is what they called the event, and rightfully so. As the internet community is now exposed to a sleeping giant who can potentially be the next eBay. If i only had enough to invest in its shares right now, i could be filthy rich when it hits off in a few years. Damn... The privileges that rich people have, annoying. Anyway, if you need to know how the event went, well, it was long to say the least. Interesting but long. Some people don't have all the time in the world you know. But then again, the food was good and they have very good fish and chicken that really matched the diet i'm in to prepare for sunday's football tournament.haha But all things aside, seems like social commerce now has a name... Smilds.com

Mini Packs a Big Punch

2010-01-18T00:17:00.000-08:00

Riding up to The Fort in a cab, i wasn't exactly sure what to expect out of the Mini Cooper Grand Launching event this past weekend. I didnt even know what to wear as “smart casual” seemed much too vague it seemed. Gladly, i found a good old polo shirt that still fits. Interestingly, when i get there, the event was much bigger than i had expected!

With the full array of light systems,, LED displays everywhere showing clips form the both the original and the remake of the Italian Job, among other videos. Massive walls of “Mini” logos and branding surrounded the place with a back to back freedom wall which was i think, a real class act. Plus, who wouldn't notice the exquisite food offering in small servings. Thank god the drinks didnt come in small sizes too. In fact there was way too much to drink that the event went on for Friday and Saturday.

I've always wanted to have a Mini, even as a child. I would still prefer the classic Mini, but many people would say that the ride isnt a joy at all. Especially compared to a fully restored classic beetle. haha But the new models are a class of their own as well. I think the importers of Mini in the Philippines did a good job setting the tone for the brand. Let's just hope they didnt go too far with the event spending. Some of the best things do come in small packages, but sometimes, going big with finesse, goes a much longer way. I'm excited to see how well the car will do. Of course, i'd much rather see more of them in various colors, in my back garage rather than in on the streets, being driven by some old people. It's a thought to be considered.

for more pictures, visit my facebook...

La Union Family Surf

2010-01-09T00:32:00.000-08:00

Tried my hand at surfing in La Union, Philippines. The very surprising part is that as a child growing up, knowing also the kind of calm waters there are in this country, i never really imagined that anyone could go surfing here. Hell, i thought you had to go all the way to Cali for some surf. It wasn't until a few years ago when i was talking to this girl that i found that there are some surf spots in the Philippines. Interestingly enough, it has been a few years since then and i never really found the time or patience to learn or try.haha

Long story short, i somehow convinced the family to take a long drive north to a known spot called La Union. I have to say, it wasn't so bad at all. I mean, i have tried wakeboarding and it is a whole different stoke. Wakeboarding is more extreme and challenging to me, but surfing has a real leisurely appeal to it. Its funny going with family too actually. Of course it would be really trippy to go with my friends, family is still cool. Specially with younger cousins you dont see too often.

I was surprised my 9 year old cousin who weighs 160 pounds was actually able to stand up, and its only his first time trying. Not bad actually... It really is a whole different stoke. Chillin' out in the water waiting for a good wave. Paddling like hell in hopes of catching a good wave that i can't seem to ride. The challenge for me was really just paddling and getting my own waves without the help of a coach who basically held the board, picked out your waves and gave you a push start to catch the waves... A wakeboard is still my priority though, but at least social surfing now doesnt sound like such a bad idea. Wouldn't mind going back to Little Surfmaid again in La Union and the beach soon. Its a real good place anyway, its just pretty far. I guess i should try a much closer beach. Although i'd hate to get even more burned than i already am.

Merry Christmas Indeed

2010-01-09T00:14:00.000-08:00

Its been a great holiday season this past year. So good, i haven't had time to write at all since i also racked up as much sleep hours as i could too. Just to give an idea of where the rest of my time went though. Here's my idea of fruit and vegetable shopping over the holidays.

Some apples, lemons, fermented grapes, hops and other fermented fruits as well. I'm trying to stick to a "health" lifestyle here so i left out all the bags of chips. For later that is.hehe Interesting enough is that there isn't any left. But of course, this picture doesnt show the complete picture. Not present here is 2 bottles of scotch and an extra bottle each of tequila and vodka at home. As if this wasn't all merry enough... Things just had to get a little better. Just a little...
Not in this picture is 2 additional cases that i had already brought down from the pickup and some additional bottles of vodka and wine in the plastic bags behind the cases. Oh and this time i did throw in the chips in there...

Of course there could only be one outcome to all this... hahaha I can't say i was well rested... but i will say that i had better lose some extra weight soon! Beer has that effect you see...

Sex and The City meets Grey's Anatomy

2009-12-21T17:20:00.000-08:00

I haven't had the chance to watch TV for a while, and being home last night without any school work to worry about after work gave me a rare opportunity to mingle with the most common media form. From, pirated rips of Grey's Anatomy that frankly, ruined my eyes a little from all the blur, to some old school, Sex and The City.

Going through these 2 female driven shows with mostly female views and conclusions about life and love, made me miss being able to write freely on my blog. Sure i'm not a sex column writer or a surgeon in the making, but i think i draw some pretty good conclusions myself, right?

But what's my point really? Having time last night to catch up on a few things made me realize, that there are a lot of things in a person's life that though they can live without them for a while, time has a way of brining them back and bringign them back with a level of impact it seems. Even playing the guitar during our christmas party felt really good and makes me really miss the band a lot. This raises a big question in my head...

What amount of change are people allowed to have in life where you don't feel much negative effects when you spend your dull time day dreaming? Of course most people wouldn't even consider day dreaming a good thing at all. But then sometimes, its a great way to look back, or look forward in life without having to be there. And in the process, you can get a pretty good image of where your life falls on your happiness scale...

Thoughts While Made to Wait

2009-12-21T16:59:00.000-08:00

Sitting in starbucks accross my office building, i tend to remember where all my work today had began. I had my 1 and only interview for the company i this very starbucks. Seems like ages ago. Its been about a year and a half since then. Quite some time as it turns out. When i count everything thats happened over the past months, it seems like a whole lifetime's worth cuz of all the things i've had to do.

Somehow i still get frustrated over how my position hasnt seemed to change in all this time. Despite performing beyond expected i think. Never seem to be the right person at the right time and place. Everybody seems to be moving ahead of me already. And everytime someone asks me my position or what i do, i just shrink, and give a missly answer. I cant even show myself to my old school or schoolmates as it would be an embarassment for me. All my friends are either bumming to the max or running their own companies. So where do i fall in all this? Its kinda sad really and its starting to affect my work.

The other day i was discussing with HR the credentials i need from the assistant im getting, and she said its really hard to find someone to match what i need cuz those requirements are for officers already or if anything, people applying are much much older. And surprisingly, no one still qualifies. This brings me back to my initial sentiment. Where does this leave me now? A marketing assistant who needs an assistant with the qualifications of an older marketing supervisor... Another chapter lf my life closes on these facts. Maybe its time to see where the next chapter will open.

Technical Difficulties

2009-12-07T23:01:00.001-08:00

A few weeks back i decided to reward myself for all my hard work with some tech toys int he hopes of rekindling my childhood geek. Always been addicted to technology. It's even shown in my music gadget cravings. As much as things tend to get quite expensive, always a good sense of accomplishment comes with a good buy. Even though it goes obsolete real fast.

However, in past weeks, its either i've been so much out of practice that i have forgotten how to spot a good deal, or that companies nowadys have a really good way of covering up their tracks, when it comes to bad reviews and publicity. If the later is the case, then the world is no longer a safe place to live.

In my attempt to connect more with the internet and address my blogging short comings, i've decided to get a dedicated digicam and video as well as a mobile internet device, a smartphone. But as with all things, technology, sometimes you get what you pay for and a wasn't willing to pay for much either. In my attempt to get an all purpose phone that wasn't an iPhone, i decided to get a Samsung i8910. Yet despite the features, the wonderful reviews and all the rest of it, i just couldn't seem to dig up the same amount of dirt as i do now, now that i actually have it. Much of these issues though could not have been predicted as it seems to be corporate directives from Samsung that is causing my grief. In hopes of upping my spirit, i eagerly awaited my new Sanyo xacti, waterproof camera... But alas, though it does everything that it sais it would do, i should've bothered to look into the phrase i found in one review, "does poorly in low light even at its price range"... This i found to be doubly true, i just didnt expect it would be this bad. It's so bad that its just not worth having. I already knew i needed a camera for low lighting conditions yet i wasn't willing to shell out the cash for a Lumix that is in fact, reviewed to do really well in the dark.

I've already spent so much on my new toys and im compelled to spend some more just to right the wrongs. Technology can be quite addictive indeed and capitalism isnt exactly making things any easier for the middle income ambitious. If i only had more access to technology, i'd probably make a good tech blogger.hahaha Let's see how that goes later.

random thought 27

2009-11-29T02:04:00.000-08:00

Its always hard to work in an environment where you can't really trust the people around so much. I seem to've had one of the hardest 3 days in my recent life over the long weekend. The funny thing is, this whole thing should've been a relaxing experience, a chance to do some cleansing and detox. I was actually hoping i could do a good colon cleanse and lose a little weight at the same time. Then again, you can't exactly relax and work at the same time.

Yet amidst all the stress and hassle, a nice view of a perfect landscape always seems to help ease the mind. Interesting, but im sure everyone can see what i mean.

A pleasant view always seems to do a whole lot of good. Whether or not this is good news for most of us is really not the point of this discussion. The thing is, beauty is not called beauty for no reason. Its named that way because of how it affects how we feel. Of course the most obvious things we notice are the things we can comprehend with our eyes. But every so many times, a mix of various forces and situations tend to build up the same or even a greater sense of beauty than what just pleases the eyes.   This seems to make the whole point of photography a little harder, doesn't it? Well, i guess that's also why photography seems to be such an endless journy huh? Although for most of us, it also makes photography that much more frustrating. So for me for the most part, i'd rather find those little moments of life when even if its just a small mix of random things, it still ends up better feeling than a super model, sun bathing on top of a sports car.

a lot of work

2009-11-26T15:27:00.000-08:00

Class has really been getting on my nerves lately. As much as i really want to finish my masters studies, it's been quite impossible to do any sort of school work, on the count that i hardly get time to study, and the few times i do have time, my head's just tl tired to function.

Its almost the end of the ter and the year so things really need to start stepping up. Somehow, it just isn't helping that my plans for my internet projects are starting to look really heavy. I know their the right things to do, but the idea of actually making everything happen is starting to get quite scary. K wonder if i can live up to the plans and my expectations especially. I better get my team together soon so i can finally get productive. I hate having to be dependent on anyone, but at this point i really have no choice. Hmmm

Well... I better finish up on my term papers and homework soon. I just wish i could get a proper laptop bag to replace my old one. I'd hate to have to travel and do business in malaysia or where the hell ever if i have to lug around my stupid red messenger bag. It's got my shoulders uneven now. I better swtch back to backpack.

Creative Thinking

2009-11-23T01:13:00.000-08:00

Personal space has been coming on as a topic of increasing importance lately. The little artist in the not so little head of mine has been finding it hard to stretch his arms and draw up a storm for the various things i need to do. Of course, it's always going to be hard when certain things start to get distracting.

Seeing as a lot of what i need to do now requires mostly intellectual material, I'm slowly starting to realize why the "creatives" in ad agencies have the tendency to be a little extreme. Needless to say, different people will do various things to get the creative juices flowing and to keep the stream of inspiration wide open. I can't exactly talk about the things that other people do, but i can talk about what i do. Whether or not these things count as weird or not will depend entirely on whomever is reading it. So what are my must haves for optimal mental stimulus?

A comfortable chair and a wide clear table. - i like to slouch and lean back when i think, especially when i hit a dead end. The table is always good for various things i'd like to tinker with while thinking.
A good cup of coffee - In my experience, there are 3 best cups for this number. Starbucks' Charamel Machiato, Seatle's Best's Black and White Mocha, and the winning entry going to Starbucks' White Chocolate Mocha. All hot of course.
Good leg room - always a plus when i start leaning back and looking to the skies for inspiration.
Big window to look outside with - I get my best ideas while staring out a window.
Walk aimlessly while fiddling with things - Always a good way to refresh and iron out kinks in my thoughts.
Some Good Jazz music - always great for clearing my head and helping me focus
Sunday Driving time - Having quiet time while driving also helps me explore the facets of my ideas.
A large paper notebook - KEeps all my ideas and diagrams and drawings.
And of course to top it all off.... THE CRAPER! - don't ask me how or why. but its quite time with no interruptions.hehe

So there you have it. Pepsiblog's 8 best tips to getting a great idea.hahaha Or something like that. I should probably ask for some of these things to be part of my office supply just so i don't need walk for several blocks just so i can think a little better.

Pepe Cervero

Thinking Through

2009-11-18T19:47:00.000-08:00

Got a comment today for one of my older posts. Always an inspiration when people comment on my posts, especially the older ones. It lets me know that people are either touched by what i wrote or care enough to say what they think. It has been a while since i've had a quality post around here, and i guess i could blame my work for that somewhat since im usually too run down to think of things to write.

Surprisingly, today there is hardly anything for me to finish for work. Which leads me to think that i'm either not doing my job, i've missed out something that i should be doing, or... i should just plain and simply be glad that i have a little time off to connect with myself again. I realized, that the reason why i am running short of energy to write is that, i seem to be in the "thought industry"...

This "thought industry" of course is shared by millions of artists, musicians, strategists, analysts and all sorts. The people who mostly think about things for a living. I've always wanted to be a philosopher or a professional thinker when i got older. I didnt realize that things would materialize somewhere along those lines. I just wish i had more opportunities to share what i have in mind.

The funny thing is, that i guess i take my thinking so seriously that i've got all the kinds of notebooks just to make sure i not only capture my thoughts as they come by, but i can also explore them as i think them through. I've got a tikler notebook, memos on my phone, task lists on my laptop, a large sized notebook, a fancy large sized notebook for meetings, my laptop and my phone of course. So why, you might ask, don't i just get a tape recorder of sorts? Well, quite simply, i don't like talking when i think.hehe

As it turns out though, and surprisingly enough, the thing that helps me think the most, are my large sized notebooks. Because i can think things through and sketch and draw and like doodle my thoughts and tie them into a bigger idea. My laptop is no match for that kind of power and flexibility no matter what model this is.

Sometimes the simplest things turn out to be the easiest and best solutions for various things. When things are simple, no point making them complicated.

Pepe Cervero

Twitter and Plurk

2009-11-16T03:49:00.000-08:00

Been getting a lot of news about Twitter and Plurk lately. It's been constantly poking at me to open up an account for a while now, but again like Facebook back in the day, I was way too lazy to set up a new account away from my old Friendster. But lo and behold, i am quite forced to learn how to Plurk and Tweet since it is now part of my work. Although i highly doubt i will get any wheatgrass sales form twitter and plurk, i gotta build it up early on for when it finally takes off in this country.

I feel like a real fish out of water. Makes me wonder how everyone finds this stuff so addictive. Im sure i will too after a few more days fiddling with it. Looks like i got my work cut out for me on this one. I'm still waiting for my Sanyo Xacti to arrive. It feels like a million years already. The excitement is really distorting my sense of time. I seem to have already been getting into the habit of documenting my everyday movements. That's thanks to my phone of course. It's not the best imaging device around, but it's definitely better than nothing.

Since that's all going on, im sure that these gadgets will go a long way in moving me along with Twitter and Plurk. Once i get the habit deeply embeded in my system, it should be easier to use these social networks for promoting stuff. At least there's more places i can promote my blog at. Yay for me! Hoping of course that my blog visitors will actually improve already. Gone ar teh days when i used to enjoy 40 unique visitors in a day. Modest, but better than things are now. But oh well, lets see where things go. I should start randomly thinking again. I miss my posts that actually have substance to them. I'll write some soon, once i get a little more free time and space in my head.

Pepe Cervero

Starbucks Despair

2009-11-15T06:13:00.000-08:00

I was sitting at a starbucks branch today at market market, and boy... All i can say is that this is the worst starbucks i've ever been in. By far!!! Why you ask? Its a whole number of things actually which i would try to explain as i go along.

Starbucks is supposed to be relaxing and cozy. Thing is, there are just so many people in this damn mall that even starbucks is packed with all sorts of people. In the good old days of starbucks, its always nice to just sit down with a coffee and a waffle and just watch all the beautiful people pour in. Only the elite and good looking seemed to really go to starbucks. Now though, your getting all sorts of people comig in. No offence but half the people here look like they'd better be spending the good earned money somewhere else. But this is a good thing actually. Because it just goes to show that the economy is improving. Your now getting more and more people who are raising above poverty and actually getting a life. Good on you people! But unfortunately, im not writing about the booming philippine economy am i. Its just a simple case of me wanting to sit at starbucks with a cup lf good coffee and write while watching people as i wait for mich to get out of work. Well, so much for that experience... Im just glad the place hasnt begun to smell weird yet. Which brings me to an interesting observation of the philippine culture that i would much rather share when im on my laptop so i can type away freely.

My point is, why is it that in this country, most of the time, there seems to be a direct relationship between how good looking a person is, and how well off they tend to be fiancially. Hmmm... Controvercial? Lets see where this goes when i get the time at home.

Pepe Cervero

blogger envy

2009-11-13T02:26:00.000-08:00

Its day two of the e-commerce summit and things have pretty much slowed down. Today is when the web awards are presented. Really boring stuff. Everyone who wins gets a chance to give a short presentation about their website and what they do. There are just so many categories involved that things just take too long. And like i said, every winner gets to have a 5-10 minute presentation. The annoying part is that, since this is an indoor event in the hotel, there is very little natural light. This situation is always a test for any camera. Given that, the 8 megapixel camera of my phone fails to make an impression for me since things seem quite grainy and a little out of focus. I guess i should be quite glad that this phone even has a flash unlike the iphone. Still, it just goes to show that this phone just isnt there yet, but good enough i guess. My camera had better be here soon or else i'd be quite annoyed.

On another point, i am feeling quite a level of envy for all these winners especially ln the blogging categories. I love my blog. Its just too bad that not very many people feel the same. Hay.. Well, lets see how things go i guess. First step would probably be, posting articles at least everyday. Im much too shy or something to be socializing with other successful bloggers and ask the how they made things work. I usually like figuring things out on my own so.. Lets see where that goes. Good luck to that. For the pictures of the e-commerce summit, just search me on facebook. My profile is on the side bar.

Pepe Cervero

E-commerce Summit

2009-11-12T06:36:00.000-08:00

I was at a local e-commerce summit at the Hotel Intercontinental. Quite interesting stuff especially since im going to be running an e-commerce project. Its nice to know, that though i am not an expert on the whole subject, i dont think im too left behind as it seems, from whats usually going on. Makes me miss giving speeches to a proper crowd.. anyway...

  The surprising thing about this whole industry is that even when eveyone seems to know a thing or two about the internet, even among the major industry players, no one seems to be bold enough to say that, they are the experts. Why??? Because the internet is so vast and too fast that no one can claim to know it all. In fact, because its so easy for people to launch new service and unique services even from their homes.

So what does this mean? Even if someone has the current market figured out, the market never stays the same for very long. Especially when some new service decides to provide something that will change the way others do business. Im supposed to be giving a short presentation to my master's class in integrated marketing communications, and believe it or not, im actually very excited to talk about internet marketing with them. There's just so much to discuss that i really wouldnt know how to compress thing into a 30 minute talk. This was also a common challenge for the speakers today since there is so much to tell cuz things happen so fast. This was also a chance for me to test the photo capabilities of my new phone, and as i've come to realize, i need a little work with the settings cuz everything seems a little out of focus. You be the judge. Im just happy that my phone retained its battery through out the day even until i got home from my class today. That's a big improvement.

Truly an exciting thing really, the internet. Its as close as business will get to "real time".   Im really excited about where this new project of mine will go. Since things seem to be on the right track, its only a matter of time and effort before things finally go my way. I just hope i can get my team soon so i can make some magic at a much faster pace. I hate moving too slow.

Pepe Cervero

Skyway is the Way!

2009-11-10T16:28:00.000-08:00

For a while now i've been getting spoiled by this so called "Skyway". Its basically a 2nd level highway form one end of the metropolis to the other that few people use. For the 10 years that it's been operational, I've never really learned to appreciate it because it costs so damn much to take it. Toll fees will kill you for such a short piece of road. Until recently when they started construction on an off ramp near the new airport that's near my place. Because they aren't done with the construction of the ramps near my place, they decided not to have a toll gate at that exit yet. Which is where things get interesting.

If you've lived in Manila long enough, you'd know how bad the rush hour traffic is. And the annoying thing about the whole metropolis, is that it's so densely populated, that although it only takes about 50 Km to get from the very south tip to the very north tip, every 10 and 15Km in between will already take you 40 minutes to an hour. So what does that mean for me and my usual 8Km ride to work and the heart of Makati City? That's a good 30-40minutes drive. So now the picture becomes more clear. So where does this whole Skyway thing come in?

Well, because its so expensive and people hardly use it, its always open and the roads are pretty much well maintained. But unlike everyone else, people where I'm at, which is near the new off ramp, get to ride it for free from that point, to farthest point north with is in Manila already. That means that my travel time from my place to work and to band practice or school, only takes about 15-20 minutes. That alone is amazing for me. And to think that the SkyWay, which covers about 5-6Km of that travel, only takes up 3-4 minutes of my travel time and the rest is gone to traffic.

I'm yet to get a proper image of how the skyline looks cuz it doesnt fit in my camera cuz it's so wide. and the car goes too fast.

But, where's the excitement in that? That's just what highways should do right? Well, it's become more than that for me lately. The whole experience from going up my off ramp to seeing the view of 2 cities meet in the horizon and the site of few cars, open roads, the feeling of faster travel, hassle free travel and traffic predictability, it looks like everything that you would normally ask out of life. We want things to be more predictable, more hassle free, less congested, straight forward, fast but relaxing, don't we all? There would be many out there who would say that i'm talking bullshit cuz life is meat to have adventure, unpredictability, twists and turns at anytime and an element of surprise to keep us alive. That could be, but then again, for me and my life now, where im working from 9am to 11pm, got masters classes 3 days of the week and a band, not to mention family and everything else... 3-5 minutes a day of peace and quiet on the Skyway is therapy enough to keep me sane. That is of course, while i can still get it for free.

Pepe Cervero

mobile blogging

2009-11-09T08:07:00.000-08:00

I think my worst fears have been confirmed. The battery life of this phone though people say is very good just doesnt seem to cut it for me. Tnis should be the first blog im writing from my phone. Ive decided to write it from one of the note pad apps here, but i have no idea how i gonna get it to my blog site from here. Hmm.. I hope some better batteries come along later on. I dunno if i should be glad i got this ,odel instead of the other phones that run on winmo, whicn is supposed to use up more battery than this one. If the other phones do worse battery life tha this the fuck man!

I need something that keep up with me. I cant be slowing down for anything. Hmm, i better keep my phone plugged to my laptop during the day the just to make sure i get maximum charge when im on the go. Hmmm

I wonder though how thr battery life of other smartphones are. This is my first one so i really dunno what the standard is. Im just not used to spending a laege sum of money and not be satisfied. I hope things get better though. If all else fails, im buying an extra battery if there is such a thing. I love this phone but if i have to nurse the battery all the time, than that ain't cool.

Well, surpsrisingly though, as much as ive ranted about my battery, i've typed up a storm here on the touch keys. Not bad indeed. I guess i could use this phone for blogging. I just need a better browser i guess.

Samsung Omnia HD tests

2009-11-09T01:42:00.000-08:00

After getting the new Omnia, i just had to test it. So far im pretty happy with the performance although i did expect a little more. But hey, i work my devices to the core so i could be too hard on the phone or expecting too much. Maybe that's just me. Anyway, i am getting some weird battery usage with this phone. On the first day of full charge, i really worked it out with wifi surfing, videos, playing music on loud speaker and voice calls and it lasted the whole day. Today on the other hand, im hardly using the phone at all and the battery is almost dead. Hmmm... big question mark there. although it has been on for longer than it was yesterday but still, im hardly using it today. But lets see... last night was only the 2nd time i've charged the phone so it might be just breaking in or something. I do expect the battery life to improve a little later on.

I haven't gotten into the hardcore photo and video taking but here're some stuff i took.hahaha They aren't conclusive of anything but its just what's on here and i just decided to post it.haha

That would be my sister in low light. Not so bad i think. I took some video too but i didnt use the HD setting simply because i thought it was set on HD by default. Here's what it looks like.

I highly doubt any of these would qualify for a phone review but im just trying to get used to shooting and posting right away. I have been out for a while and it would be nice to warm myself back to blogging whenever i get the chance. Besides, im sure my family is quite entertaining.haha You would expect more of these things i guess once my Xacti comes around. That would be kick ass!

Pepe Cervero

Mobile Phone Insight

2009-11-07T20:50:00.001-08:00

Finally got my new phone. I've never had to buy a phone before since the telecom company just gives me a new one ever so many years. Funny thing is i've never been too particular about my phones before. Never caught on to the camera phones, the mp3 phones and all them other phones that came out cuz all i really wanted was a good solid phone that didnt break and could call and text with ease. So why has all that drastically changed?

Let's analyzes the 2 features i mentioned: camera and mp3. Im a musician, and i love music. But i love watching the world and observing everything that is going on, both visual and audio. Also, i tend to want to be quite alert and aware of everything going on in my surroundings when im idle. So mp3 on my phone somewhat gives me the bigger hassle of brining headphones that i usually wont use. And when i do want to listen to music, because i've been too hassled with brining headphones needlessly, i end up, without a pair since i'd have let them at home. What about cameras? i love good quality cameras and taking proper photographs. But phone cameras are just useless for me if they don't meet my minimum quality requirements. I won't take a photo if its not going to be good. So why force a camera onto a phone. Besides, i never take vain pictures of myself or wat not anyway.

So why did i buy a Samsung Omnia HD if i dont want mp3 and cameras on my phone, and it's supposed to be a video phone with mp3 and the works. Well, its simple, internet! In the evolution of phones, i've turned a blind eye to the progress since the features being developed were really not to my taste. But as we've reached this point in development, the phones are starting to touch on the things that i care about. Basically, i just want a computer in my hands. I was fine with PDAs and pocket PCs back in the day. But non of them had wifi capabilities or, those that did, couldn't make calls, and had to be brought along side a working phone. So you see where that can go wrong, again i'dd be too lazy to do that. If i can be too lazy to bring headphones for an mp3 phone, its very likely that i'd be lazy to bring 2 devices.

Of course, knowing me, i dont jump on the technology band wagon right away. I never bothered with iPods, the iPhone and i only really cared about MacBooks this past year. Because i know that all new technologies need to undergo at least 2 years of market experience for the companies to work out all the kinks and get them to a level that i can appreciate. The iPhone has been around for more than a year now and because that category is quite challenging, not all the kinks have been worked out by the companies yet of these smart phones. So i may have jumped in a bit to soon for my taste. But never the less, it will be exciting to see where this goes. I'll give my tech reviews after a week when i've put the phone through it's paces. But to report, it has hung on my already ONCE! So that's thumbs down for the guy who said "you cannot crash this phone".

Pepe Cervero

Tech Reviews

2009-11-04T16:28:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since i've had the energy to write again. Been using up my creative juices for work the past few weeks that i just don;t have the energy left to write even when i get the time. I haven't even caught up with my school work.

Oh, and good news, im finally getting my Xacti camera. I just ordered it off Amazon.com and it should be at my aunt's place today. I'm expecting it by December when she visits for the holidays. I'm checking out some new toys though. The smart phone market has gotten so much more interesting with everyone responding to the iPhone's runaway success. Thing is, while looking at most of the reviews, few people covered some of the things that would really matter to me when making a decision on tech stuff. It's either im just too critical with my things or people don't care much about them but here are my thoughts on some smart phone reviews.

For smart phones, there are a few things i'd want to know about during a review that would make or break the sale. Everything else will be gravy:

speed & reliability
typing
web browsing ability
battery life
applications

Why these factors? Smart phones usually don't have buttons, everything is touch screen. So, if your device's system, will have to replicate the feel and responsiveness of a phone with physical keys. When you press something, it should work and work fast. Also, given the ease of swiping and browsing of the phone and all it can do, chances are you will abuse it. You'll be swiping in and out of things looking for stuff, opening up all sorts of files and programs and surfing the net too, so the phone will have to coupe with this. Of course all this will drain your battery life. Plus since it does everything you want, chances are, you will use everything it offers and you would want it to still have juice despite this to make your calls later.

Web browsing... Well wat's the point of having a big screen if you can't maximize it when browsing the net. Its the internet age and your device needs to be pretty much an extension of your laptop.

Typing... Yes it may be hard to learn to type with virtual keys but eventually after using it a while, you will get used to it. And you will start typing fast. Especially if you use your smart phone to blog and work. So you want your keys to respond in the way a physical keyboard does without the hassle of pressing down so hard on the usual cellphone qwerty.

Finally, watever platform you'd choose, you want to be sure that even though your phone gets outdated by the next models, you'd still be able to update your software, get new applications to make the phone faster, more fun, sharper, more productive and whatever else you want it to do. Cuz if there's hardly anything to put on your phone, then you might as well get a normal phone. Like i said, it should be an extension of your laptop.

I've seen only one review of the Samsung Omnia HD that covered much of these topics. Hence, my decision has become quite difficult. Maybe when my Xacti Camera comes, i should try doing some tech reviews, and see how i fare.

Nissan GTR

2009-10-22T17:48:00.000-07:00

Finally got a little break from all the work that's been breathing down my neck the past few weeks. Been working straight into Sunday's and bringing work home too. Sad life! Well, at least its been challenging. Usually, when people enroll in a Masters degree class, it's additional work time outside of their normal 9-5 jobs since classes are at 6-9pm after work. Sadly, for me, that just isnt the case since im usually in the office til after 9 or up to 11 at times. So actually, i look forward to class cuz it serves as my break from work. An iron clad excuse to leave my office work.hahaha

Last night i finally got some time to rest and i decided to catch up on my Top Gear episodes. God i miss that show. I do miss the old host though. the girl, forget her name, but she was a pretty good driver for a woman. Anyway, the episode i caught on Youtube was the one where the hosts raced across Japan, one by car and the rest by public transport (take note, bullet trains are public transport). Needless to say, the car was just exquisite! Its a Nissan GTR. Its what i would call the perfect balance between the super car look, and the road car look. So it doesnt look super flashy nor does it look dull as a carpet. Plus, judging by some of the car's specs, its one sophisticated machine. I mean really, who puts that much effort and detail into making a car go fast without saying "boost the engine up to 1 million horse power so it goes faster". Its just brilliant.

I'm still hoping some day i'll get my own sports car. Hmm... reviving my childhood passions I guess. Always been a fan of the automobile. It's just been tainted by the fact that everybody seems to like them too. But that's all fine i guess since there's no denying the truth anyway, nothing wrong with that.

Pepe Cervero

Random Thought 26 (Control)

2009-10-18T17:54:00.000-07:00

I was out of town the past few days and there's always something new to take note of when you go around. Of course i was glad to feed my laziness with a hotel room to myself. Love having a solo room, cuz i leave everything on and just go out and things turn off cuz the power gets cut when you take the key right? So when i get back, everything goes on just as i left them. That's probably one of the bigger reasons i love my mac so much. I use it i close it and i open it later and find everything that i've done right where i left them. Not exactly a fan of filing and organizing my stuff.

I was thinking to myself in the elevator when i was out and thought, "why are people, generally nicer when they're at the hotel than when they're outside?". Trivial really, but noticeable. You might say, "well of course their nicer, its a hotel". Come on, does it really end there? Maybe its cuz they're on vacation and feel good, or they're loaded with money thats why they just want to be nicer, or maybe they're having a good time that's why they're always nice, or is it cuz most of the guests are from other places where people are generally nicer? What's the point?

The hotel environment and industry revolves itself around creating an environment outside of the world we are used to. Loads and loads of money pours into this industry to ensure that people experience this "environment" to the fullest, and it changes the way we behave in the process. So my question is, do we really need to be in a hotel environment to be a little nicer in general? Sure maybe, its so much more comfortable to be nice in a hotel, and everything that's ugly about the real world is kept outside, But really... Would it be so hard? Different environments tend to change the way people behave, exhibiting the reality that people's behavior can be controlled or that people can control their behavior. So really, the question in my mind is, are you in control? Or are you just controlled by the things around you?

Pepe Cervero

New Craving

2009-10-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

I was looking through the mac website for my work since i've been designing a new website for the office and i came accross a little gadget that's really been nagging me to just buy it. Its a little digital camcorder that takes still photos. It's designed to be a 2 in one device. Videos and stills. Usually, these sort of things don't work very well. Its either their good at video and crap in stills or vise versa. But i heard from the reviews on tech blogs and watched some of the reviews on youtube that this one is pretty good especially for the price.

Its the Sanyo Xacti E2. An 8 mega pixel still camera and a video camera at the same time that's waterproof. The weirdest thing about it is that it has 2 separate buttons for stills and video. Which means you can control each separately. You can take pictures while you are shooting a video. So this is just perfect for my work and everything else actually. It wont take beautiful pictures of lush landscapes but hell, it will definitely ride along with you on that first wake jump or that crazy bar fight where all the beer goes swooshing everywhere.

Funny thing is, im not really one who takes many pictures or videos as i never really paid much attention to it since im probably not going to view it or store it much anyway. Even when i do have a camera on hand, i hardy get into the habit of taking pictures or video. But with my work now, it has started to creep up on me. With a lot of internet marketing and facebook advertising going on, im trying to get into the habit. Damn, who knows, might make a pretty good indie film guy. That means you'll be seeing a lot more of me online. Scary thought. Well that's not for the near future anyway. My initial problem now is finding it in the Philippines. If all else fails, im dropping my good old friend, amazon a line so they can deliver to someone who's visiting me soon. I need this little thing. Before it goes out of production. Cuz i heard the new version is crap and twice as expensive. What a shame...

Random Thought 25 - Autism

2009-10-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in on a prayer meeting yesterday and one of the people there was praying intensely for the autistic children of family members or close friends. She was praying for their healing or for them to get the things they need to heal. This puzzled me a lot since mental or behavioral disorders aren't exactly the same as physical disorders of like, not having a leg or having 4 fingers. What's my point? Let me try ot explain...

The part of the body that dictates on us whether we are happy, sad, lonely or excited is what? The brain i might presume, right? That means that everything that we do, from gaining education, garnering success, playing sports, having sex, meditation, relaxation, and whatever other physical things, are all aimed at stimulating the brain so that it will make us or our body feel happy or satisfied. This isn't hard to accept right? It's just like that mind over matter thing. But so what?!

Point is, the mind is very complex and as such there are many complex ways to trick it into feeling satisfied or give us a good feeling, but is you could simplify the mind and reprogram it to respond much more favorably to the simplest things, like lets say, seeing the color red, then it would respond better and in turn make us feel better more of the time. So back to autism now. Disorders like these, are problems with brain's internal programing. So, who are we to say that we are programmed correctly when it's so difficult for us to trick ourselves into being happy. While on the other hand, people with brain problems, may be programmed in a way that they are more happy for more of the time and much simpler to please. Heaven for us might be the skies and infinite bottles of beer, heaven for them might just be seeing a dog. Now after you've absorbed all that, you tell me, who is really in need of help?

Pepe Cervero

Tech crave

2009-10-06T04:19:00.000-07:00

I've been quite distracted lately about spending my money on something to easy my need for high tech stuff. I have been eying a camera for myself that's mobile with good image quality without being bulky. I was offered a Canon G10 today but i've got a lot of experience with the G10 and i love it, but i do have my complaints and i know all it's weaknesses. Plus its hard to be satisfied with a moble camera when you've been spoiled by a Nikon D90. But of course, you don't bring an SLR everywhere right?

But what i really wanted was a mobile internet device and my first thought was a higher level of mobile phone or another netbook. Problem there being, im using a mac, and most mobile phones and netbooks are windows based. Plus i can't sync any of my files. So what other choice do I have but an iPhone right? I love Mac. But then i don;t need to spend excess amounts of money on another phone just to get a mobile computer. I need the "i" but not the phone, besides it's hard to text on the damn thing. So, after much debate, i've decided to get an iPod Touch, 3rd gen.

Been looking it up on the mac store and it's got everything i need except a keyboard for blogging on the run or typing up reports. But its got a lot of everything that i dont really need but i dont mind having. Plus, my knack for wanting things that can do everything is insatiable. The 3rd gen is pretty much complete already compared to the previous versions that's why i've only noticed it now. The old one's didn't have blutooth and stuff. But now all it lacks is a camera. I haven't bought mine yet, but i can't wait to get my hands on one. I'm just hoping it's soon.

Pepe Cervero

Couples and Marriage

2009-10-04T06:21:00.001-07:00

I was sitting in church today listening to the readings and sermon. Most of the talks were about marriage and commitment. In one of the readings was one of my favorite bible readings about creation. When god saw man and that he was lonely, he created animals and all that jazz. But then when he saw that it wasnt enough, he put the man in a deep sleep and took away one of his ribs, and with it, he created a woman and they both lived happily ever after. NOW! What is your take on that?!

Well there is a million ways to look at this short read and the take away really depends on the reader. For instance, you could say that based on the passage, god only really designed the world with men in mind, and then decided later on to add women when the man got lazy. This could lead to further take aways saying, "that being the case, then women have been made with the single minded purpose of accompanying men and making men happy". To be more friendly, you could also say, "god recognized that men can't live without women and decided to make things right", OR, "god realized that men were just useless or boring and decided that having a woman around would make things much more interesting". I'll reserve my take on the passage for late. Jumping forward...

There was also a lot of talk about getting married and divorced. I've always believed int getting married once and sad to say, and most people wouldn't admit, that having the option of divorce around, does give some sort of incentive for break up doesn't it? As couples always intend to make it all the way, but then will always be able to fall back on divorce. No offense. that's just what I think. I treasure marriage and relationships i guess. And so... this is my take on the earlier passage. Men, are poised to wonder the world, searching for their lost rib, in order to make them whole again. Sounds odd, but i guess that supports the soulmate theory huh.

Typhoon Again!

2009-10-01T18:44:00.000-07:00

It's a friday and according to CNN, there's another super storm PARMA coming to the country tom, saturday. Things haven't even gone back to normal yet after the past storm, this one is said to be twice as strong. How the country is going to coup with this one i really don't know. Most drains and major water ways are still clogged form all the mud and dirt brought by the massive floods of the past weekend. Any amount of rain above the norm is going to cause flooding for sure.

To whine about my issues with this storm would be really insensitive but then let me just blurt it out for a sec. 1st of all, i want to play football on saturday and sunday. i havent played footsie in 3 weeks i think and my gutt is starting to show it. 2ndly, i was supposed to go out with mich to get some good food on saturday and maybe look for a new camera. Guess that's not pushing through either. I also have work on both days. Im arranging some radio guestings for the company and i really need the sales of these efforts for next months quota. So you can all scratch that.

But going back to being sensitive, I hope the village can survive this storm. Im really not confident with our drainage system and i can almost bet it will flood pretty bad, not to mention the loss of electricity being eminent. I was pretty much lucky the last time out. I hardly felt the storm since i was at the right places at the right times. This time, though, I may not be so lucky, and that doesn't just go for me. If this is my last ever post, it's been nice knowing you.hehe

Birthday Surprise

2009-10-01T03:27:00.000-07:00

I've never had a surprise party i think. At least from what i can remember. I can imagine why. Im probably the hardest person to surprise. First of all, im a very inquisitive person and i get easily curious about little things. So all the little inconsistent details about someone's story will really get me thinking. 2nd, I can get really lazy and cancel my plans on the fly. So if the surprise will require me to go out of the house and go somewhere with someone, you'd better watch out as i might just feel like going to sleep instead or finding food close by. 3rd, I'm a workaholic and my work schedule is almost impossible to plot. So if timing is very important in the whole surprise, then it's gonna be very hard to time. And when all else finally comes together, chances are, im gonna have a straight face when i get surprised. Which might probably put off some people.

To my great surprise, mich actually pulled one off almost.haha I say almost because some of the facts above played a role. My class schedule changed dramatically and i was more than just hungry. I was supposed to be distracted by a new burger place in town near my surprise, but then i didnt enjoy the burger and wanted to go somewhere else to eat some more. Mich and i were at the venue an hour early and were sitting near the actual entrance of the place, and people havent even arrived yet. To top it off, i was egging to go drinking already at the venue and mich had to say everything to keep me from going to get a drink cuz people havent arrived. I thought it was odd that i was being forced not to drink first but then assured that i would get drunk. PLUS! Being with mich in almost EVERY surprise birthday party they've thrown to each of their friends, i already had a feeling that she was definitly gonna plan something somehow.

At the end of the day, even if i didnt look surprised and there was no big bang to meet me, and the owner of the bar greeted me just before i entered which got me convinced that something was up and that everyone came AFTER i had already arrived, Things were great! Had a lot of spiked iced tea of some sort and 4 cases of beer to finish. 1 case was left standing for round 2 real soon. This time though, i dont need to end early to go to work the next day.haha Thank you baby!

Reach for the Skies

2009-09-30T21:58:00.001-07:00

This is for the greater benefit of Edward Watson and Mich Mendoza.haha

I just posted about my bday trip to Lago de Oro and how annoying and fun it was at the same time. This time though, i've been feeling some frustration over not being able to correct my mistakes so easily. THE PICTURE ABOVE SHOWS WHAT MY ATTEMPT AT WAKEBOARD STARDOM LOOKED LIKE.

I've been working my way into trying to jump ramps and do some tricks and shit, but then of course that's easier said than done. Especially if you only get to go to a wake park twice a year. That's like having swimming lessons every 6 months and expecting to swim accross the British channel. Looking back at my last trip to Lago with Ed, we had strongly agreed that the moment we learned to stand up, we were gonna hit the ramp right away and to hell with how things will end up. As i learned eventually to stand up, i never really collected my balls enough to try it for myself. Maybe im just too sober or im without the persistent bad influence of Edmund. Or maybe its the millions of possible, disastrous scenarios i was thinking in my head. But at long last, after 12.5 persistent hours of wakeboarding, i finally took my chances. Judging by the picture above, it wasn't so bad.

But then, this is what REALLY HAPPENED.

Missing Vacations

2009-09-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

Im stuck in the office again working. Mich is already out somewhere having fun and having some drinks and im still stuck in the office. A week's work in this office feels like a month's work. So much to do, so little time. I can't wait for my net vacation.

My birthday trip was pretty good actually. Myself and the whole family drove over to Lago de Oro with mich and had a wakeboard weekend. I missed the water so much! It felt like the last time I enjoyed the water was as CWC. I didn't even know if i would still know how to wakeboard. It's not hard to imagine myself falling over again and again even before i can get up. That would really be a bust since i actually wanted to buy a board just before going on the trip. Thank god I still kinda knew how, and it was great!

But wakeboarding on that lake was like wrestling a cow! It looks easy, but because of the rough waters and the shallow water, it was so hard to keep your balance. The water was green and had algae all over the floor. I even cut my toe and my finger just wading through the water. Damn! Still fun though. Not to mention, i had a strong feeling i was developing body odor the whole week before the trip. But after a whole weekend of wiping out and crashing in the water, im pretty sure my body odor worries are gone for now.hahaha

Flash Floods!

2009-09-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

Who would've thought that in the Philippines, where there are a million storms a year but no real disasters will a real flood hit? I've never had to fight my way through a big flood in my long stay. Except one which i think i was just 14 or so back then. Luckily this time, to my surprise, my house and my village which is supposed to be very flood prone, was pretty much spared from the flooding. And checking out the other videos on youtube of other areas where the flooding was just crazy, we were really lucky. There are videos of cars being swept away and toppled over by the current. Even worse was the aftermath when the water was gone. All them cars that were swept away were all on top of each other and pretty much wrecked.

Thousands of people are either car-less or are flocking the car shops for massive repairs and cleaning. Even the cars at home were filled with water, they smell even today. Damn! Its a good thing the car iw as in wasnt affected and somehow even if i wasn't home, i wasnt really affected by the flood and i even ended up watching a movie.haha Crazy!

Here's another picture. More can be found on facebook too. Everyone is collecting relief goods and trying to help out. If there's anyone who wants to help out, please contact me through email. pepe@mypepsiblog.com and lets see what we can do. I was supposed to update my blog with stuff about me but then it really feels wrong to talk about myself when all this bullshit is going on around the city.

Bad start

2009-09-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

Had a great weekend with my family for my birthday. The pictures are coming soon and it makes me really want to get a good compact camera for mobility and all instead of a bulky SLR. It was a great vacation with mich too like part of the family. Though things since getting back haven't exactly been peaches and cream.

i had so much work to do after the long vacation and advanced work to finish since i'd have class after work today. We've hardly talked and i've managed to piss her off so professionally by making her worry about me and not telling her i was still eating and talking to officemates and havent gone home. She got all worried i guess. And now, things look like a big question mark.

I guess i haven't been the most sensitive of partners. I'm not exactly the most sensitive person at all. I hardly care about most things, but i do try though. It's an asset at times when you get hardly attached to things and alway have that eject button handy at anytime and you don't have to look back. But things are different with people sometimes as i learn the hard way. Its the first time i've been in a relationship for more than just a few months and i guess my lack of, hmmm what would be the best word, "affection skills"? are starting to show. Its really not that i don't love her or anything like that. I guess im just not so used to being attached to anything still. Let alone for 2 years. Interesting thesis... i just hope things start getting better. Im not very good at handling these things. I handle people really well at work, but people who are close, well, that's a whole new frontier for me.

Parts of my life

2009-09-18T04:06:00.000-07:00

There's a part of my life i miss a lot. So much time and effort is going into my work that i've had so little time for anything else. But the surprising thing is that i'm not the one who has no time for what i love to do.

I haven't played the guitar in a few days and i feel my fingers stiffening up already. Craving for a chance to revive the good old days of constant touring and playing for big crowds. Just as i was thinking about that past, i stumbled on this picture on the internet!

I think this was Sound Skool 2007. 2 years ago already and for those who've seen us play, i even got my trademark face, "The Bite Yo Lip".hahaha I'd like to thank this Rheia Ramos - Yeo person whomever she is. Thing is, the band isnt the only thing that i miss doing. I miss basketball too, and football, and frisbee, and rugby... damn, there's just so much i am not doing. There's a downside to being into so many things growing up, when you're forced to choose a select few, it's just impossible to choose. I havent even gone into the topic yet of the people i havent seen or hung out with in a while.

Nearing 22 years of my life, i'd like to reinforce my drive to be able to do everything and anything i want. I've been able to do it quite successfully so far, no reason why i cant in the future. I just hope that the normal day was made of 36 hours instead of 24. Then just maybe i can do everything i want to do along side what i need to.

Imagination

2009-09-14T00:25:00.001-07:00

I was looking through my computer when i stumbled on this picture. Sure you might think its a picture of mine and mich's slippers out on the sand, just another inanimate object that a bored photographer decided to take a shot of because he thought the shoot looked better than the actual owners of the stuff. That maybe so but when you look into the rest of it, you start thinking of it a little different.

Well, the sand isn't too fine, you can even see that the boat in the picture is in fact a rickety old thing and the person on the left who was selling ice cream just had to come in and ruin the shot. And yet rising above all this is a clear blue sky and clean blue water and 2 slippers in the mids of it all. It seems to me, with enough imagination, it can be sort of a painting representing myself and mich looking into the horizon to perfection amids rough times then it starts to make a little sense, and gains a little bit of value.

Quite the fitting interpretation and a great memorabilia of the perfect weekend that had started all wrong in the first place. Helps me look forward to great vacations in the future, and that's not to mention smashed up drinking on the side, hopefully. Can't wait for things to start looking up, it had better be soon.

pepe cervero

The Age of Media

2009-09-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

I was looking through a few videos on YouTube yesterday and i found some videos form this cute filipina girl Christine. I've watched some video blogs before but her's is quite entertaining. It's no surprise why she has so many subscribers to her blogs and it doen't hurt that she's quite good looking too. Her site is happyslip.com in case your're wondering.

It got me thinking though, maybe it's time for me to get myself a video camera too. But of course, before anyone starts shouting out their violent reactions to me shooting myself on video to go on youtube, don't be too alarmed because that's just not my thing. As i have come to realize, there really are some people who are born for such things. Whether its for youtube or TV some people are just born with that personality for video. Me on the other hand, well, that would be just like throwing a dog to the lions. It's just not pretty. I would though, love the chance to video tape some stuff going on and edit them with my iMovie, which I have only recently learned to use.

Multi-media seems to have shaped the world we live in today. People say it is the age of the computer, the internet or the information age. But! And it's a big BUT! it is new media that is making all of this possible and its what's driving the revolution forwards. so you might wonder, why do people respond so well to multi-media and more so now than ever before. If you ask me, people just can't stop entertaining themselves media was the unpredictable side-effect. But hey, i'm not one to complain, I just don't like anything, that i am not too good at.hahaha

Pepe Cervero

Internet Marketing thing

2009-09-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

There are times in a man's life when he is faced with change. It happens to everyone of us. But even more scary, is when you have to make a decision. So many things today force people and even businesses to change dramatically and make decisions on the fly. The internet for one. I don't think i even have to expound on how the internet has changed everyone's life.

I was just at an internet marketing seminar in the past 2 days and I was shocked to discover that, had i been more open to news and more explorative, i would've actually ridden many internet waves in the Philippines. One being the blogging wave. I mean how was I supposed to know that back in the time when i was writing blogs regularly and friends would react so much 5 years ago, that it was just the start of the whole blog marketing wave in the Philippines, and I wasn't part of it. Never the less, the CeMC seminar has rekindled so much zest in me that i thought i have lost over the course of the past year. Theories have been confirmed, ideas supported, new concepts discovered and some mysteries explained.

I've been ranting for so long now about my job being so limiting, especially on the creative level. At least now, well if I can pour more time into it as I used to, I can direct some of my creative frustrations on the web on my own projects. Maybe some time in the future, my blog will actually return to its former glory.hahaha Which has been some what of a frustration really. Much thinking is in order and I just hope that my time doesn't get squeezed out of me by other forces.

Pepe Cervero

Mankind

2009-08-11T08:07:00.000-07:00

Felt good to get some sweating done again. It's been so hard for me to get my ass up and start working out again, but after seeing my weight gain of more than 10 pounds i just had to try. I didn't even mean to start working out again if it wasn't for my little visit to the local health store and found muscle building supplements on sale cuz they were going expired. I figured, if i actually spent for my working out this time, i'd actually be a little more motivated to do it. So i did and it seems to be working so far.

I just remembered how hard it is to loose weight when your working a full time job, especially one as demanding as mine. I can only imagine how out of shape i would be if i wasn't pretty fit to begin with.

Thousands of years ago, people didn't even need to worry about getting into shape or working out. Things they do everyday, form hunting, running, carrying things and all that was enough to tone them up and keep them healthy. Centuries back, even without all the advancements in medicine and health, people lived twice as long. So why is it, that the human race, as it advances, seems to be moving backwards in terms of life preservation or health in general? Shouldn't the advancement of civilization, mean that it is the advancement of life on the planet and not the degradation of human life, as well as that of the trees around us, the animals around us?

When you weigh the contributions of man to the earth against what we are taking away from it, it seems like all we've ever contributed to was mankind, and nothing great for ecology. Mankind has been like a virus, spreading to all places and consuming all resources along the way. And we dare say that man was made in the image and likeness of god himself. If god was anything like people, then all hope is lost isn't it?

Pepe Cervero

dead end job

2009-08-07T02:53:00.000-07:00

Had quite an odd day yesterday. My boss somehow was giving the impression that she was leaving the company, or something to that effect, and it was not going to be good news for me if that happened. Lo and behold, she wasn’t leaving the company, but she was getting promoted. Congratulations to her. We celebrated with a good greek meal and just had to cap it off with some heavy market planning. Just when I thought the day was done, mich picks me up from work and buys drinks to celebrate her new job. She’s getting a good package with a good position and a secretary too. Good job!

At the end of the day, I just couldn’t help but look at my own career. Things don’t seem to be working out for me anymore. The band is in shambles again, my toe is busted so I can’t play football and well, my work has just hit a dead end. I was listening to the CEO of our office talking about lifetime careers and career growth in the company etc to our marketing department with my boss included. I just don’t know if she noticed my lack of interest in the little speech.

I just feel that not only are my skills and contributions to the company highly under appreciated, but I think that if I looked for another job, they will go highly un noticed and unmerited too. Marketers are measured by how well they get their products known. Thing is, considering all the efforts and stress and hard work I put in, I just can’t get my products and company to really boom cuz of set limitations which I can understand. But then again, on my personal record, what now do I have to show for all the hard work? I got barely anything to brag about and my title isn’t exactly helping either. So if I moved to another company, I’d probably get the same or less money, less of the responsibility and power I hold currently as well as probably doing clerical work for some older marketing person. So I guess im pretty much stuck where I am.

I’ve always believed I was more talented and much better than most people around me where ever I am. But at the end of the day, it’s only where all that talent takes me that matters right? So guess it’s really not taking me anywhere. I should probably rethink myself.

Pepe Cervero

Wrong choice of words

2009-07-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

It's nice that things at work have started to slow down again. Gives me more time to myself and other things and people. Of course there's still so much to do and finish but at least most of the pressure is off.

The other day mom and i were talking about women dating older men. She says one of her staff who's 22 or 23 i think seems to be too mature and prefers dating guys 10 years older than she is at least. I couldn't help but comment. After discussing the matter, it seemed like instead of a manifestation of maturity, it looked like the exact opposite. We both came to the conclusion that she was in need of someone who, could understand her, put up with her, take care of her or deal with her, in short she feels the need to be babied and spoiled.

Why this conclusion? A mature woman would know what she wants, can handle her emotions, is independent and knows how to adjust and be sensitive and what ever else you can think of to define this concept. If you were all this, then why would you need someone who can PUT UP WITH you? That just screams that you have personality pangs that people don't like or find annoying or maybe even childish. The age gap she requires, suggests that maybe she's really that hard to understand or put up with if you need to be so much older and experienced in life just to keep up. That's strike number 2 already. She also wants to be taken care of, babied and what not. This could be regarded as a desire for slack to be irrational, irresponsible or even childish. Why? If your so mature, then why would you need someone to baby you or take care of you, you should have that covered on your own. In fact, what would be a better manifestation to me of maturity would be women who like guys their age or younger where they lead the relationship or dictate everything. And if i was just spitting out opinions with no rational, then i guess my mom, who is a girl too, married to my dad with a 6 year gap, wouldn't agree with me with little resistance.

Maybe a change or terminology is in order. Women in today's society push around the word “maturity” a lot even if it is often not the proper word for the ideal they want to communicate. The word seems to be regarded with a sense of pride and self esteem which is probably why its used and abused. But for all the women and men who claim to be mature or judge other people about their maturity, do you really know what you are talking about, i mean really?

Pepe Cervero

slow come back

2009-07-22T01:02:00.000-07:00

Seem to have been living under a rock for the past months. So busy working that i've been too tired to even exert a little effort to write on my blog. Thank god some things are finally over so i have a little more time to myself and everything else. But not writing for so long makes me feel like i don't know what i'm doing anymore. Feel like an old man trying to remember how its like to kiss or a grown man riding a bike after a coma, so forgive me for any lack of substance.

Things seem to be going at a steady pace for me lately, except for one thing that i am quite worried about actually. The band doesn't seem to be making progress. If anything, we seem to be going backwards. Which is a shame really considering how far we've gone and how good we already were. Of course there are several people i would like to put most of the blame for this unfortunate turn of events. But in the grand scheme of things, it just makes me wonder a lot about whether or not this will still work out. Been at it for so long already and given up so much and yet things aren't working out. I'm not even praying to be the next Michael Jackson or The Beatles, I just want a simple album to play over the radio for at least a year and be able to tell my grand children that i was a musician once in my life.

I guess my desire to be everything that i can be or accomplish everything that i set out to do is really bugging me about this. Maybe if i wasn't so persistent i wouldn't be so bothered. But then again, what's the point of having life easy anyway? If i wanted an easy life then i wouldn't be working in my company now. The road of a musician is always filled with these breaking stories and no musician is without one. That's probably one of the reasons why im so persistent about it. I just can't take no for an answer. Oh well, there's still hope yet i think. Maybe one last big push to see things through.

Pepe Cervero

Bottle of Happiness

2009-06-30T08:19:00.000-07:00

It's been a long while since i've gotten a chance to write again. Well of course this isnt completely true, i mean i write everyday for work. In fact most of what i do is write. I've had so many chances to get back to my blogging, but sometimes my mind is just too tired to write some more for myself. But tonight, i guess it doesn't hurt much.

When life crunches hard on you and edges you to a certain point, it's always nice to just sit down, listen to some good music and have a little liquid courage in your system. A double action formula that's sure to soothe any head ache. Sensation from your ears to your head, coupled with chemical sensation from the right amountds, happiness, life, musi of alcohol, price less...

Sometimes we tend to ask too much form life and expect the world at our feet. Other times, a bottle of beer or a simple pillow is all it takes. Imagine if you could make it possible to always just be happy with a bottle of beer or a pillow. Wouldn't life be so much simpler? Too bad that the human condition dictates that people always seek what they don't have and we usually find pleasure in getting what we can't or don't have. How can one be completely happy? I guess it's when you get something and you can't even think of other things that you can't or don't have. impossible of course. Well that's why there are gods, and we are merely human.

Pepe Cervero

How's life?

2009-05-19T05:33:00.000-07:00

So much has already happened in so short a time. I don't even know where to start. Maybe not even bothering covering the short past is best. But 2 things have really made me happy the past few weeks. My wakeboarding trip and my surfing trip. Funny, cuz as a little boy i had always watched TV and seen all these big boys surfing and wakeboarding etc. I didnt think that at any point, i'd be doing it pretty well.

I for one am surprised at the way things in my life are going. As i move up in the world and earn a living, it seems that new experiences keep opening up for me to try. Given my personality, i'd try them all almost and get addicted to a few. But these hobbies are not cheap. There are so many things I want to buy, i want to do, places i want to go. All involve money, money, money. The more you get to afford, the more you crave for more. Hence the trap of materialism.

For a while, most things didnt matter, only music and expression. How is it that in less than a year, so many other things have also become important? Maybe they are just experiences, or releases of stress or vacations form work. But in the end, nothing seems to satisfy. Is this the human condition? To forever want and long for things they don't have, yet tire of those they do, in exchange for more or something new.

Pepe Cervero

random thought 24

2009-04-24T03:38:00.000-07:00

Everybody is trying to lose weight. Diet this diet that. Hell, even i'm trying to lose some flubber. In a perfect world, no one really has to lose weight if society didnt put so much pressure on people to look perfect. But then again, on the flip side of things, knowing how unhealthy most things we do and eat are, the original rules of nature hardly apply anymore.

People are designed to eat and burn what they eat and eat again, along the way, they have to eat natural things that provide them all the nutrients their body's need. This was good and people lived well. That's how god designed our bodies so to speak. But mother nature, never intended for the hamburger to come along. Nor the french fries, the soft drink, the ice cream and even worse, the preservative. How can the body fight something it was never designed to fight. Hence the phenomenon on health and wellness as people grow more aware that the world they live in will kill them slowly each day.

Me? Well, im no model of health. Even if i work for a wellness company. I know a lot about health and getting healthy and being healthy, but i have no intentions of depriving myself of the good life.hahaha I have short term health goals. And they're simply to win... in sport. As much as i have my opinions against competition, its such a drawing concept for me and i just cant avoid competing. I only hate competing when i lose, like most of us. But that's life isnt it? people must compete to get better and better at the things we do. Although, at the end of the day, after all has been said and done and you ask yourself, why. Why even get better? We are often left dumbfounded and insulted saying, “of course you have to get better”. By who's standard do we define better? Should it not be our own? But then again, our own judgement is already affected by world influence. If people, could be eternally content, would there be a need to get better??? An alien concept i am sure... But one that has potential and is worth thinking about.

Pepe Cervero

big fat christian wedding

2009-04-20T18:09:00.000-07:00

I was at a christian wedding last weekend and it was something new to me since i am a catholic. It was a protestant sect i think. I have nothing against other religions, i was just marveling at some of the differences. I enjoyed the choir most of all though and the sound system being a musician myself. But looking back at the wedding itself, it was quite interesting too.

This was my uncle's 3rd wedding, and he'd only been going out with this girl like 3months. The same as his first wedding. Crazy guy just cant help himself and gives it all when he likes something, even changing religions. He's gone from catholic, to baptist to protestant with all 3 marriages. Unbelievable... Anyway, outside of shuffling my feet for 2 hours watching a whole production wedding with every ceremony you could possibly think of, I was surprised to see that for once, the bride actually looked decent when she popped out to walk down the isle. Normally her cheeks would bulge past her nose if you saw her face from the side, among other things. Ah, but there was still more to come.

As it turns out, because this is my uncles 3rd wedding and none of my family seem to like the circumstance of the marriage, none of use were really excited to go. Even in the extended family. Usually, my family is the most eager to go in these things. To support family and to drink like maniacs, 80 people strong.haha But this time, the woman invited 500 friends and family and people from the church i guess and everyone was just close to the girl. none of the rest of them 500 people were even connected to my family in any way. And all the pictures and wedding videos and dedications, all came from the woman's side. And my family, 80 strong, were just enough in attendance to fill 3 tables.haha You can clearly see who's wedding this was.

Oh my lord to make matters worse, there was NO alcohol what so ever. Well they did bring out some red wine for the toast, but lo and behold, it was like sparkling grape juice!!! It was all singing and clean dancing and picture taking and none of which involved my side of the family. It was all clean innocent fun... How pretentious. I've never seen something so staged in my life. I just thank dad for bringing 4 bottles of scotch and a stash more in the other car just to be sure.

Pepe Cervero

hot wheels at EK

2009-04-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

Had a much deserved rest over the weekend. for some reason yesterday was made a holiday and there wont be work on maundy thursday also for holyweek so this week is just 2 days. It's just beautiful! Was able to catch up with mich and friends yesterday at the local theme park.

I had no idea virtigo was such a drag... Mich has and its not funny. she was sick and dizzy the whole time and puking and i just wish i would never be anywhere near that sickness. Im just trying to be supportive. It's a great feeling to be back together and eating and bonding in a theme park. never got the chance to do that with anyone of my past relationships. It's cute and somehow has a little boy feel to it. It's a big relief to be talking again and doing things together.

I can't get over karting too. Got a little bored wih all the rides that i fancied a go about at the go kart circuit. I haven't raced a kart in ages and i was in a lot of doubt about my ability and whether or not i can step up to the challenge posted by some people.hahaha Surprisingly enough, of course after picking out a good kart, i seem to have done well. Cuz the last time, i didnt like my breaking technique and i thought that i might carry better speed out of corners with a little adjustments and i somehow made those adjustments automatically as if i just thought of them. I remember so much of my childhood and dreams of then, to race big circuits in a formula one car etc. Racing is one of my 1st loves and one of my biggest frustrations not having enough money to do the sport. I've always fancied myself as a pretty good racer. I think being at least a lap and a half ahead of the next guy to me was evidence enough of that. So it pains my heart to not be able to do something that i might just be pretty good at. Oh well... Millions of people live happy lives without racing.hahaha I'll just have to be one of them.

Pepe Cervero