It's been a long while since i've gotten a chance to write again. Well of course this isnt completely true, i mean i write everyday for work. In fact most of what i do is write. I've had so many chances to get back to my blogging, but sometimes my mind is just too tired to write some more for myself. But tonight, i guess it doesn't hurt much.
When life crunches hard on you and edges you to a certain point, it's always nice to just sit down, listen to some good music and have a little liquid courage in your system. A double action formula that's sure to soothe any head ache. Sensation from your ears to your head, coupled with chemical sensation from the right amount of alcohol, price less...
Sometimes we tend to ask too much form life and expect the world at our feet. Other times, a bottle of beer or a simple pillow is all it takes. Imagine if you could make it possible to always just be happy with a bottle of beer or a pillow. Wouldn't life be so much simpler? Too bad that the human condition dictates that people always seek what they don't have and we usually find pleasure in getting what we can't or don't have. How can one be completely happy? I guess it's when you get something and you can't even think of other things that you can't or don't have. impossible of course. Well that's why there are gods, and we are merely human.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
How's life?
So much has already happened in so short a time. I don't even know where to start. Maybe not even bothering covering the short past is best. But 2 things have really made me happy the past few weeks. My wakeboarding trip and my surfing trip. Funny, cuz as a little boy i had always watched TV and seen all these big boys surfing and wakeboarding etc. I didnt think that at any point, i'd be doing it pretty well.
I for one am surprised at the way things in my life are going. As i move up in the world and earn a living, it seems that new experiences keep opening up for me to try. Given my personality, i'd try them all almost and get addicted to a few. But these hobbies are not cheap. There are so many things I want to buy, i want to do, places i want to go. All involve money, money, money. The more you get to afford, the more you crave for more. Hence the trap of materialism.
For a while, most things didnt matter, only music and expression. How is it that in less than a year, so many other things have also become important? Maybe they are just experiences, or releases of stress or vacations form work. But in the end, nothing seems to satisfy. Is this the human condition? To forever want and long for things they don't have, yet tire of those they do, in exchange for more or something new.
I for one am surprised at the way things in my life are going. As i move up in the world and earn a living, it seems that new experiences keep opening up for me to try. Given my personality, i'd try them all almost and get addicted to a few. But these hobbies are not cheap. There are so many things I want to buy, i want to do, places i want to go. All involve money, money, money. The more you get to afford, the more you crave for more. Hence the trap of materialism.
For a while, most things didnt matter, only music and expression. How is it that in less than a year, so many other things have also become important? Maybe they are just experiences, or releases of stress or vacations form work. But in the end, nothing seems to satisfy. Is this the human condition? To forever want and long for things they don't have, yet tire of those they do, in exchange for more or something new.
Friday, April 24, 2009
random thought 24
Everybody is trying to lose weight. Diet this diet that. Hell, even i'm trying to lose some flubber. In a perfect world, no one really has to lose weight if society didnt put so much pressure on people to look perfect. But then again, on the flip side of things, knowing how unhealthy most things we do and eat are, the original rules of nature hardly apply anymore.
People are designed to eat and burn what they eat and eat again, along the way, they have to eat natural things that provide them all the nutrients their body's need. This was good and people lived well. That's how god designed our bodies so to speak. But mother nature, never intended for the hamburger to come along. Nor the french fries, the soft drink, the ice cream and even worse, the preservative. How can the body fight something it was never designed to fight. Hence the phenomenon on health and wellness as people grow more aware that the world they live in will kill them slowly each day.
Me? Well, im no model of health. Even if i work for a wellness company. I know a lot about health and getting healthy and being healthy, but i have no intentions of depriving myself of the good life.hahaha I have short term health goals. And they're simply to win... in sport. As much as i have my opinions against competition, its such a drawing concept for me and i just cant avoid competing. I only hate competing when i lose, like most of us. But that's life isnt it? people must compete to get better and better at the things we do. Although, at the end of the day, after all has been said and done and you ask yourself, why. Why even get better? We are often left dumbfounded and insulted saying, “of course you have to get better”. By who's standard do we define better? Should it not be our own? But then again, our own judgement is already affected by world influence. If people, could be eternally content, would there be a need to get better??? An alien concept i am sure... But one that has potential and is worth thinking about.
People are designed to eat and burn what they eat and eat again, along the way, they have to eat natural things that provide them all the nutrients their body's need. This was good and people lived well. That's how god designed our bodies so to speak. But mother nature, never intended for the hamburger to come along. Nor the french fries, the soft drink, the ice cream and even worse, the preservative. How can the body fight something it was never designed to fight. Hence the phenomenon on health and wellness as people grow more aware that the world they live in will kill them slowly each day.
Me? Well, im no model of health. Even if i work for a wellness company. I know a lot about health and getting healthy and being healthy, but i have no intentions of depriving myself of the good life.hahaha I have short term health goals. And they're simply to win... in sport. As much as i have my opinions against competition, its such a drawing concept for me and i just cant avoid competing. I only hate competing when i lose, like most of us. But that's life isnt it? people must compete to get better and better at the things we do. Although, at the end of the day, after all has been said and done and you ask yourself, why. Why even get better? We are often left dumbfounded and insulted saying, “of course you have to get better”. By who's standard do we define better? Should it not be our own? But then again, our own judgement is already affected by world influence. If people, could be eternally content, would there be a need to get better??? An alien concept i am sure... But one that has potential and is worth thinking about.
Monday, April 20, 2009
big fat christian wedding
I was at a christian wedding last weekend and it was something new to me since i am a catholic. It was a protestant sect i think. I have nothing against other religions, i was just marveling at some of the differences. I enjoyed the choir most of all though and the sound system being a musician myself. But looking back at the wedding itself, it was quite interesting too.
This was my uncle's 3rd wedding, and he'd only been going out with this girl like 3months. The same as his first wedding. Crazy guy just cant help himself and gives it all when he likes something, even changing religions. He's gone from catholic, to baptist to protestant with all 3 marriages. Unbelievable... Anyway, outside of shuffling my feet for 2 hours watching a whole production wedding with every ceremony you could possibly think of, I was surprised to see that for once, the bride actually looked decent when she popped out to walk down the isle. Normally her cheeks would bulge past her nose if you saw her face from the side, among other things. Ah, but there was still more to come.
As it turns out, because this is my uncles 3rd wedding and none of my family seem to like the circumstance of the marriage, none of use were really excited to go. Even in the extended family. Usually, my family is the most eager to go in these things. To support family and to drink like maniacs, 80 people strong.haha But this time, the woman invited 500 friends and family and people from the church i guess and everyone was just close to the girl. none of the rest of them 500 people were even connected to my family in any way. And all the pictures and wedding videos and dedications, all came from the woman's side. And my family, 80 strong, were just enough in attendance to fill 3 tables.haha You can clearly see who's wedding this was.
Oh my lord to make matters worse, there was NO alcohol what so ever. Well they did bring out some red wine for the toast, but lo and behold, it was like sparkling grape juice!!! It was all singing and clean dancing and picture taking and none of which involved my side of the family. It was all clean innocent fun... How pretentious. I've never seen something so staged in my life. I just thank dad for bringing 4 bottles of scotch and a stash more in the other car just to be sure.
This was my uncle's 3rd wedding, and he'd only been going out with this girl like 3months. The same as his first wedding. Crazy guy just cant help himself and gives it all when he likes something, even changing religions. He's gone from catholic, to baptist to protestant with all 3 marriages. Unbelievable... Anyway, outside of shuffling my feet for 2 hours watching a whole production wedding with every ceremony you could possibly think of, I was surprised to see that for once, the bride actually looked decent when she popped out to walk down the isle. Normally her cheeks would bulge past her nose if you saw her face from the side, among other things. Ah, but there was still more to come.
As it turns out, because this is my uncles 3rd wedding and none of my family seem to like the circumstance of the marriage, none of use were really excited to go. Even in the extended family. Usually, my family is the most eager to go in these things. To support family and to drink like maniacs, 80 people strong.haha But this time, the woman invited 500 friends and family and people from the church i guess and everyone was just close to the girl. none of the rest of them 500 people were even connected to my family in any way. And all the pictures and wedding videos and dedications, all came from the woman's side. And my family, 80 strong, were just enough in attendance to fill 3 tables.haha You can clearly see who's wedding this was.
Oh my lord to make matters worse, there was NO alcohol what so ever. Well they did bring out some red wine for the toast, but lo and behold, it was like sparkling grape juice!!! It was all singing and clean dancing and picture taking and none of which involved my side of the family. It was all clean innocent fun... How pretentious. I've never seen something so staged in my life. I just thank dad for bringing 4 bottles of scotch and a stash more in the other car just to be sure.
Monday, April 6, 2009
hot wheels at EK
Had a much deserved rest over the weekend. for some reason yesterday was made a holiday and there wont be work on maundy thursday also for holyweek so this week is just 2 days. It's just beautiful! Was able to catch up with mich and friends yesterday at the local theme park.
I had no idea virtigo was such a drag... Mich has and its not funny. she was sick and dizzy the whole time and puking and i just wish i would never be anywhere near that sickness. Im just trying to be supportive. It's a great feeling to be back together and eating and bonding in a theme park. never got the chance to do that with anyone of my past relationships. It's cute and somehow has a little boy feel to it. It's a big relief to be talking again and doing things together.
I can't get over karting too. Got a little bored wih all the rides that i fancied a go about at the go kart circuit. I haven't raced a kart in ages and i was in a lot of doubt about my ability and whether or not i can step up to the challenge posted by some people.hahaha Surprisingly enough, of course after picking out a good kart, i seem to have done well. Cuz the last time, i didnt like my breaking technique and i thought that i might carry better speed out of corners with a little adjustments and i somehow made those adjustments automatically as if i just thought of them. I remember so much of my childhood and dreams of then, to race big circuits in a formula one car etc. Racing is one of my 1st loves and one of my biggest frustrations not having enough money to do the sport. I've always fancied myself as a pretty good racer. I think being at least a lap and a half ahead of the next guy to me was evidence enough of that. So it pains my heart to not be able to do something that i might just be pretty good at. Oh well... Millions of people live happy lives without racing.hahaha I'll just have to be one of them.
I had no idea virtigo was such a drag... Mich has and its not funny. she was sick and dizzy the whole time and puking and i just wish i would never be anywhere near that sickness. Im just trying to be supportive. It's a great feeling to be back together and eating and bonding in a theme park. never got the chance to do that with anyone of my past relationships. It's cute and somehow has a little boy feel to it. It's a big relief to be talking again and doing things together.
I can't get over karting too. Got a little bored wih all the rides that i fancied a go about at the go kart circuit. I haven't raced a kart in ages and i was in a lot of doubt about my ability and whether or not i can step up to the challenge posted by some people.hahaha Surprisingly enough, of course after picking out a good kart, i seem to have done well. Cuz the last time, i didnt like my breaking technique and i thought that i might carry better speed out of corners with a little adjustments and i somehow made those adjustments automatically as if i just thought of them. I remember so much of my childhood and dreams of then, to race big circuits in a formula one car etc. Racing is one of my 1st loves and one of my biggest frustrations not having enough money to do the sport. I've always fancied myself as a pretty good racer. I think being at least a lap and a half ahead of the next guy to me was evidence enough of that. So it pains my heart to not be able to do something that i might just be pretty good at. Oh well... Millions of people live happy lives without racing.hahaha I'll just have to be one of them.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
morning thought
Much has gone unsaid it seems. My random thoughts of late are hard to accept for most people, and maybe easier for others. This is to be expected, as most of my posts come out in short bursts and as i think of them in my head. But the inner workings behind what i say and my rational for saying them may be too long or boring for most people. So i dont even mention or talk about them much.
Negative as i might sound, things are not going bad, im not suicidal, im not depressed and im not throwing my life away ok?hahaha I always enjoy life to the fullest and my struggles of everyday, i endure to be able to fully enjoy my life later, as most people plan to do. Sometimes, you just discover things along the way that are hard to accept and contradictory to what we are taught growing up. Maybe im right, maybe im worng, no one ever proved who's life was right or wrong anyway. Has anyone come back from the dead to tell you who had things better in the end? I think not. That being the case, its time for me to get back to drinking and finding more food as i try to organize my thoughts a little bit, so they dont come out so random and clear only to me. Maybe in the future, id be able to move away from random thoughts to my first “organized thought” post.hahahaha Cheers!
Negative as i might sound, things are not going bad, im not suicidal, im not depressed and im not throwing my life away ok?hahaha I always enjoy life to the fullest and my struggles of everyday, i endure to be able to fully enjoy my life later, as most people plan to do. Sometimes, you just discover things along the way that are hard to accept and contradictory to what we are taught growing up. Maybe im right, maybe im worng, no one ever proved who's life was right or wrong anyway. Has anyone come back from the dead to tell you who had things better in the end? I think not. That being the case, its time for me to get back to drinking and finding more food as i try to organize my thoughts a little bit, so they dont come out so random and clear only to me. Maybe in the future, id be able to move away from random thoughts to my first “organized thought” post.hahahaha Cheers!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
random thought 23
A whole lot seems to be going on in the past few days. Much of it has really got me thinking more than the usual. Just today, in a company prayer meeting, had a whole lot of interesting thoughts. Much of it i could easy relate to my current situation and others just seem to confirm a lot of past ideas i never really explored.
A wise man said that no man is somebody, because we are all nothing. And when you accept that you are nothing, then you will seize to demand, judge or expect from other people. This i believe to be very true. I spoke before about expectations and people having the ability to dictate their happiness by controlling expectations. But the real question is how to control expectations, its always there. Well, this is the answer isnt it, in its simplest form.
When you are humbled and reduced to nothing, you tend not to expect anything from the world and the people around you, and you just accept everything as they come. Adapting this principle without actually having to break down in life is key to finding satisfaction in life and relationships. Acceptance is another.
When you've hit rock bottom, accepting anything is easy. To accept things the way they are eliminates so much burden and frustration with people and life. Somehow, rediscovering this concept has forced me to think about mich a lot and how things are. Maybe im expecting too much of her, maybe im expecting too much of our relationship, maybe i cannot accept the events of the past, maybe i think im someone who deserves better or the best or something perfect. When these things happen to you, they come so fast you cannot even comprehend what is going on even if you try so hard to understand. I've learned so much from being single again even if its just been a few weeks. As hard as its been for us both this past few weeks, This might just be the best thing for us both after all. Cuz I might just be falling for her even more.
A wise man said that no man is somebody, because we are all nothing. And when you accept that you are nothing, then you will seize to demand, judge or expect from other people. This i believe to be very true. I spoke before about expectations and people having the ability to dictate their happiness by controlling expectations. But the real question is how to control expectations, its always there. Well, this is the answer isnt it, in its simplest form.
When you are humbled and reduced to nothing, you tend not to expect anything from the world and the people around you, and you just accept everything as they come. Adapting this principle without actually having to break down in life is key to finding satisfaction in life and relationships. Acceptance is another.
When you've hit rock bottom, accepting anything is easy. To accept things the way they are eliminates so much burden and frustration with people and life. Somehow, rediscovering this concept has forced me to think about mich a lot and how things are. Maybe im expecting too much of her, maybe im expecting too much of our relationship, maybe i cannot accept the events of the past, maybe i think im someone who deserves better or the best or something perfect. When these things happen to you, they come so fast you cannot even comprehend what is going on even if you try so hard to understand. I've learned so much from being single again even if its just been a few weeks. As hard as its been for us both this past few weeks, This might just be the best thing for us both after all. Cuz I might just be falling for her even more.
Friday, March 27, 2009
random thought 22
I once said in a post that i was excited for things to come. In a post after that i said, that i shouldn't have been so excited until things have really worked out cuz shit can happen. Now, i seem to be experiencing the same excitement about work as back then. I am really hoping that this doesnt translate into disappointment later or else either i will lose interest in my work, or this will be a very hard drinking weekend.hahaha
People really do get excited when shots of hope streak across our faces. Like a little kid hearing the sweet sound of the ice cream truck around the street block. But even if we know that most of the time, you can never be sure about things because nothing's over until the fat lady sings, its just nice to feel excited and inspired over something even for just a few moments. A short reminder that there are good things in life still and that hope is always in abundance in the world. Whether things stay that way, is a whole different story all together.
People really do get excited when shots of hope streak across our faces. Like a little kid hearing the sweet sound of the ice cream truck around the street block. But even if we know that most of the time, you can never be sure about things because nothing's over until the fat lady sings, its just nice to feel excited and inspired over something even for just a few moments. A short reminder that there are good things in life still and that hope is always in abundance in the world. Whether things stay that way, is a whole different story all together.
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